Kiwisatsuma

Hi :) Interesting! I really like the characters in this, especially Whisper's mother and I like how Whisper has a distinct, entertaining voice. it’s This should be 'its'. You only ...

Hi there :) Welcome to YWS! A survival guide to vampires sounds like an intersting idea for a story and this story has a lot of potential. However, you'll need ...

Hey there :) For a book opening, I like this a lot. It's well written and draws you in quickly, and it's a good length too. I do think you ...

Hey there :) For a first go at fantasy, this is really good. I especially like the plot you've devised - it has a lot of potential. There are a ...

Ooh, I like this. It's very chilling and I like the way you slowly reveal details about the person. There are a few things I would maybe suggest: The walls ...

Hi :) I think this has potential. I really like your main character - she's snarky and rebellious and kind of selfish and has her own distinct personality. It feels ...

This is an interesting idea and I think it has a lot of potential. There are just a couple of things I would suggest that the other reviewers haven't mentioned: ...

This made me laugh :D I like it, it's funny in an odd kind of way. There were a few spelling mistakes: imbesicle - imbecile quite - quiet damnabble - ...

I really like this. It has a very interesting plot and I wasn't expecting the ending at all. There are a couple of things I would maybe change: Whatever did ...

Hello there :) I like this and I think you described the army really well at the beginning. I would suggest a few changes: An odd assortment of men, some ...

This is good! You really showed the main character's pain well and I liked that it had such a hopeful ending despite the sad tone. There are a few grammatical ...

I haven't really got much to add because I think the other reviewers have covered most of the stuff, but I will say that although I love this line: The ...

I like it! This is very sweet and it's nice to read something with a happy ending. It's just a small formatting thing, but I think this would be much ...

I actually liked the lack of speech marks. I thought it worked well, because the characters didn't say much to each other and the story seemed to be more about ...

Okay, first review ever so I'm not sure how this is gonna go. Hopefully it's helpful :) But anyway, I really like this. You came up with an excellent villain ...