Khepri

The major thing about this piece I noticed was the dialogue seems very forced. “Nothing,” I said “I was just remembering when we would come here in the summer with ...

Heya! I liked this poem a lot! Some things, though... It seems sort of...unfinished. I think you should put in another verse at the beginning, maybe saying something about how ...

Love, love, love it. It's so hard to write pieces with a proper rhythm, but you have mastered it! There were a few typos, which I changed below... Among the ...

A few things... The young man traipsed down the street, Aviators covering his eyes and his dark brown hair spiked up as was the fashion in this day and age. ...

At first I thought he was a zombie or something (halloween is getting to me, I think) but you never explain why he is detaching himself from the world. He ...

So sad...I love this poem. It's sweet, but tragic. I have two things - one, "a lot" is two words. Second, and maybe this is just me being picky, but ...

I like this poem...the sadness behind it is touching. Some constructive criticism, though, is you might want to cut down on your use of "you". You repeat it very frequently ...

Watch out because here comes my review! "yes my love oh we are magicians; bumbleberry kisses, serious musicians (whistling on through upper class commissions), close my eyes and cast a ...

Wow no one left anything out in their reviews :) There's not much left to say that hasn't been said, but one thing I'll mention is when you say; "stumbling ...