A poem about you.

by chynelk5
  • November 2, 2010
  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

A smile.
Not a grin, but enough for me to smile back.

A greeting.
Not the warmest, but at least it made me feel noticed.

A small trinket.
Not much, but it meant so much to me.

A kiss.
Not very long, but it still caused my heart to swell.

A promise.
Not alot, but it shakes off all the fears.

A death.
Not much, but it broke me.

Comments & reviews · 3
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mlowe16 Comment
mlowe16 commented · Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:33 pm

Beautiful. It has feeling. I love it.

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Khepri
Review
Khepri wrote a review · Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:54 pm

So sad...I love this poem. It's sweet, but tragic. I have two things - one, "a lot" is two words. Second, and maybe this is just me being picky, but I would change "a small trinket" to just 'a trinket'. That line stands out to me because all your other lines have just two words, "a smile, a greeting, a promise," etc. A trinket is generally something small, so you don't really need to include "small".
Other than that, it's lovely. :)



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