Kazeybear

Well, thank you very much! ~Kazey

Thanks, and welcome to YWS! ~Kazey

Thanks Jonathan. I know what you mean about the adjectives. I was trying to convey the idea though that there was so much raw emotion running through her body that ...

Thanks out of time! I will take what youve said into account and I will hopefully continue improving. ~Kazey

I would recommend reading Part I first. Also, I will format when I'm on my desktop.

Thanks DD. I know exactly what you mean by giving a reason for the depression. I'm thinking I may make a second part to this poem in which I discuss ...

Thanks for your review. I will try to incorporate some of your changes. The last two lines mean that although you find no relief from pain you still desire it, ...

Yeah

I have a lot of selfdoubt you see

Nothing, I'm just taken aback that you like it

Errm... Thanks, I guess?

Thanks for your review Kat. The capitalization/commas is just a stylistic choice of mine. I understand its not everyone's cup of tea. And the rhyming pattern. Yeah... That was really ...

Aww, thanks!

Sorry, that was my father... *sighs*

I can accept constructive critique. The website is young writers we all need to learn. Perhaps some of us need to learn how to critique with tact.