Karsten

Hi Bickazer, Continuing on from the first chapter. Holy abrupt genre change, Batman! Where'd the spaceport come from? The previous chapter was 100% medieval, accept no substitutes. I'm floundering her

Hi Bickazer, This is a compelling opener. You've interwoven setup, characterisation and plot very skilfully with snappy dialogue and some good characterisation - Nendo's reaction to the explosion and

Hi Eccentric, I get the impression there is a complex political situation underlying this piece, which is both good and bad. It's good, because it reads like you're making an ...

Hi Plus-One, I hate stream-of-consciousness and I double hate second person, so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this piece. The writing is very fluent. The poem/chant/spell at ...

Hi Jules, Overall, I struggled to get involved in this chapter. The series of very short scenes felt choppy to me and I didn't get enough of a sense of ...

Hi EmmaJane, I have mixed feelings about this prologue. I enjoyed elements of the description - like the ceiling being "white as the clouds of Heaven, wisps of curling patterns ...

Hi 82, This is a good start. Some elements of this spoof/parody were amusing, such as the first paragraph and its list of subverted cliches, and a lot of the ...