KanenRenoir

The field was a pale green with butterflies insects and I think you mean 'butterflies and insects', and aren't they basically the same thing? I would rephrase to 'butterflies and ...

Hey, here's a crit. I hope it helps. Everything I write'll be in blue. This is the first part of a ongoing story. It is imperative that I get rid ...

Ok, here's a crit. I hope it helps. Crit/advice/suggestions are in blue. Corrections in red. Our story begins in a far away land, Oh, good God, this is a very ...

Hey, here's a crit. I hope it helps you. Crit/advice will be in blue. note: If you've been reading the fantasy section for a while, it's possible you have read ...

OK. This was quite incredible. I couldn't find much wrong with it execpt: Stay in the light at all times. DO NOT leave any path, no matter what you might ...

I had a huge critique ready to go for you, then accidentally deleted it. So let me just say this. It was really good. You had a great attention to ...

This is awesome. I can't really say much about the errors cause all the ones I caught have already been said. Just pay close attention to your dialogue. Here's one ...

Hey there. Here's a critique. Being the judge and jury wasn’t enough. I needed to take up the role of executioner. I love this sentence. It's awesome! They wanted to ...

I don't believe you should tell someone what to and not to post, RubinLikes2Write. She can post what she wants. Twilight12, crit ticket. I get to it later I promise. ...

I found this to be really interesting. I can't wait to see what happens next. The plot seems good, the title intriging. Please post some more soon. The visitor Cody ...

“Halia, Are you in there? Come on might want to put a comma there. stay with me now!” I could hear the voice of my adopted brother faded in the ...

I lingered in the darkness tonight, I kept falling, I kept myself in the unknown. In the emptiness of my shut eyes I focus on my hands, they tingle, this ...

Here as requested. I'll be doing a full review. If I omit a paragraph, then it means I couldn't find a problem with it.Corrections/advice will be in red. SOMEWHERE LOST ...

Here to review as requested.I've omitted the paragraphs that I thought were fine. Corrections/advice are in red. ]Mr. Taylor was a bigoted, ignorant sort of man who did not take ...

I quite liked it. The only problem I had with it was you did a lot of telling. The number one rule of writing, at least in my opinion, is ...