Kale

Two main issues with this. First, the period at the end of every line. Second, the forced rhyme. Having a period at the end of every line is very jarring. ...

The main issue about this poem is that it is too literal. There's nothing here that's appealing; just the same-old, overly-generalized, "humans are destroying the world and it's bad" message ...

Surrounded by white walls you lay , rain pounds on the window, but I haven't left your side, I'll never leave your side, The tense shift here is really disorienting, ...

The flow of this was quite uneven. In the first four lines, for instance: All you'de have to do is ask me, And I'de shatter my world for you. You've ...

Even a ferryman mutes his cries, they say, as the collapsible tugs on waves like a child’s hand. Cast river, iron rod, word of mouth, house of God. On the ...

Hello there. Here's the review I promised. The one thing that really made an impression on me was your sentiments when writing this; they really shone through, and they really ...

You requested that I review this in Chat a while ago. Me, being the forgetful person I am, forgot to review and Like. This grievous injustice will now be corrected. ...

and I breathed in the caustic guilt in the air; If you're breathing, air is a given. This redundancy is compounded by the repetition of "in". I suggest either omitting ...

Interesting creatures and setup you have here, and it is interesting to read. However, and this is a huge "however", mister space man guy is quite stupid, to put it ...

Sounds like an interesting place, this little planet yours. I actually didn't mind how slow this was, or the lack of characterization so far, though I do think our dear ...

And then you end it like it's a public service announcement, which ruins everything. You know, it's like if at the end of Requiem for a Dream , the characters, ...

Every once in a while, I find myself enjoying a piece in spite of all its flaws, and this is one of those pieces. You have a very well-thought out ...

I could not read this. For starters, it is a huge block of text in all its un-paragraphed glory. If that had been the only issue, however, I would have ...

I second everything that Tenyo said, basically. Especially the bit about the conclusion. Right now, the paper feels quite incomplete, as if you just stopped writing it after you finished ...

You had a lot of run-on sentences and misspelled words in this. Combined with the rather large paragraphs, this was not easy to read. When you're writing about topics that ...