Kale

I tried hard not to touch Not to touch what? I promised to myself What was promised? Her heart was not guarded Not guarded against what/whom? Couldn't redeem myself From ...

Classical mythology has always been one of my most favorite things ever, and that your poem references it not just for flavoring automatically makes it awesome in my eyes. That ...

The rhyme really hurts this poem. The rhymes you have feel incredibly forced, and it mostly has to do with how there's no real consistent pattern to the rhyming. Rhymes ...

Seconding GeeLyria on the "best not color your text because it makes it difficult to read" thing. In my case, considering I'm partially green-blind, it made it very difficult for ...

Can you salivate all over it? *snerks* *spends the next few moments lost to laughter* You just lost any hope of being taken seriously with that line. "Salivate" is just ...

If your aim was to make the f-bomb boring, you've succeeded. The reason why the f-bomb, s-bomb, h-bomb (not to be confused with the H-bomb), and other word bombs usually ...

a mortar and a pessel! I believe you mean "pestle". Why I’ve met a man who'd met a man that search ed for butterflies "Who's" is a contraction of "who ...

Just glancing at this, I found this piece visually confusing. It looks too spaced out, as if there's actually four separate pieces loosely tied together by a theme rather than ...

As DaughterofEvil already mentioned, this was really scattered, to the point it was pretty incoherent. There's no consistent rhythm or even a train of thought to follow, so reading this ...

As Starrywolf already pointed out, you've got a couple of misspellings in this, some of which she did not point out. Having basic errors like misspellings really takes away the ...

This poem is in dire need of more punctuation. Right now, everything runs into everything else, and it's hard to tell where one event/description ends and a new one begins, ...

To be perfectly honest, this poem doesn't make much sense. Part of it has to do with the punctuation, and part of it with how this is so short, there's ...

We’re all as alone as we choose to be. Surrounded only by darkness we choose to see. Hearing only the words we choose to hear. Manipulating the messages until they’re ...

many errors. So, so many errors. Murtuza was kind enough to point out most of them, but honestly, there is no excuse for that many, especially considering that the misspellings ...

“Check mate” she hisses in my ear, "Checkmate" is one word. Also, as it is part of the queen's dialogue, there should be a comma before the quotations close, so ...