KailaMarie

looking for the entire world like the most loving couple. The most loving couple isn't very discriptive. I'd personally like that line better, and think it fits in the story ...

I was in the middle of doing a critique that was REALLLYYY long, but then I hit the back button by accident, and lost all of it. And now I ...

In that one meal, I ate more than half of that. That was actually a little less than half if you add the soda too. Honestly, the name made me ...

Weed should be illegal everywhere You should be able to get high anywhere That's contradictory. Live about influence is a bunch of shit It's above not about. Yeah, I think ...

*gold star* Really well written, powerful and moving. I know that it's really short, but it was fantastic. I've forgotten. I've forgotten what hunger feels like. There are pains, aren't ...

I agree that it was interesting and very creative, but there are a lot of things unanswered. Like why were they killing each other? What was Death and Love's relationship ...

I absolutely loved the first part, and only didn't comment because that's really all I had to say about it other than the descriptions were wonderful and realistic. The second ...

This was a really cool idea, I liked it a lot!! I have a couple comments, though. I heard my voice stretch from by the door where I was standing ...

This was good. I liked the message thing, I've been reading the entries from that contest. a couple things I found: To: From: Joanna Priest Subject: Jon Hey Perry. Have ...

I thought this was cute. I liked how they both just kind of wanted to escape. The only thing is, where do they know each other from? If you're going ...

I sort of understood, but I didn't understand the characters and their reactions. this just didn't seem very real to me. Like why is the girl so scared? and I ...

I loved your descriptions. And yes, it was a bit cliche, but what vampire stories aren't? And if you keep going, the characters will be different than the other ones ...

I agree with a lot of the things the people said above. Also, I would make this longer, like less of just an overview and more dialogue. Like maybe in ...

At first I was confused too, but I went back and reread the part after the bold paragraph, because I realized it was probably the transition point, and I got ...

like everyone said, you captured Steph's style really well, but one thing I saw that didn't fit in well with the actual books, was that Bella didn't seem that opposed ...