Kafkaescence

Together we lie in bed for two, our bodies dying from the day which was new. Could be worded better. Recall the church and the people who stayed, Great line. ...

You may not access this server at this time. Please check your connection, and try again. I'm sorry. Truly I am, for the poem you seek Instead of "poem," how ...

Well, it looks like Moon beat me to a full, comprehensive review, so this shouldn't be too long. An ocean of overwhelming violet, Petals dusted across the starry plains. Great ...

Her beauty is of plastic flowers, Shining and bright, "Shining," "bright..." I think there are more original adjectives out there. but only as real as one wills it to be ...

This is original. Not necessarily the story, but the way you write it. This is the first story I have seen on the site, and indeed for a long time ...

Your birds chime the happy hour I'm not sure if I like "happy hour." Sounds too informal. I'm a blue forgotten flower In a beau forest serene I'm walking in ...

Cold , alone, she stood like a silent sentinel. Superb imagery. Unwavering, she looked at them as they left her. You started off the last line with the exact same ...

This heartache is just long past due Not sure why you need the "just" here. My mind goes insane with every thought of you "Insane" is so cliched. Think of ...

Fear? Who is afraid? It's only in my head . I don't understand what this line is trying to say. What's to fear? I f you're stone cold , buried ...

Solitude is the single note stung from your violin, long and quavering I just love these first two lines. Great to start out with something as compelling as this. This ...

Your name rolls off my tongue, Gliding gracefully into the air , I don't know about this line. How about putting a semicolon instead of a comma on the line ...

Hey Ear! Yeah, I could tell that inspiration wasn't really with you when you wrote this. It does not sound quite as flowing, as natural, as other pieces by you. ...

Looking good!I can't wait to hear more of this story. It will be interesting seeing how you craft the story from this blind girl's point of view. It is very ...

I hate her. I hate the girl staring at me. Her eyes are ugly, brown, and small. The moles that dot her face look like marks where I’d love to ...

[b]There’s a distance in the way she moves, with her simple, awkward swagger. I love these first two lines. Her silence speaks a million words Your use of "a million" ...