Kafkaescence

I laughed when I realized who the tall guy in the suit was, lol. Anyway: toss the dream. It's an overused and unideal opening, and fails to build the necessary ...

Karzkin, I hate reviewing pieces that I don't understand. Maybe that's why it took me two three days of rereading and researching and conceptualizing before I felt confident enough to ...

It's repetitive. Your pattern is so constricting that you end up repeating a lot of the same ideas (ie "prepare myself for life's game" = "don't cry when the going ...

1. This does not feel like an alien world, at all. It might pass as a futuristic Earth, but really the only two differences setting it apart from the world ...

Ixnay on the storytelling thing. All it does is make an already unfocused piece seem even more pointless. This is a parable, but the story-within-a-story thing it's adopted here makes ...

Cool beans, Kyll. I think I'm going to tackle this one stanza by stanza. The more I learn, the more I observe, the more that I realize why opposites attract. ...

I couldn't make sense of this. It verges on unreadable in places, laden with misplaced prepositions, fractured sentences, and unintuitive line break placement. There might be something, buried underne

One thing I look for in a first chapter is a strong sense of place, and this chapter failed to deliver on that front. Before a reader can prepare to ...

I saw little baby Jesus in the rearview. We both flicked our cigs at the same time. I actually really like this opening--the irony of Baby Jesus smoking is striking ...

It's an intriguing premise, and definitely gives you foundation enough for the development of a story. I'd like to discuss with you how you could make this a stronger beginning. ...

As the previous reviewer mentioned, this seems to be very emulative of Victorian-era writing, save for the magic bit, which I think gives it just enough originality to not feel ...

Your story is a bit bland and I'm not really drawn to it. I'd like more depth in your characters, something to distinguish them from the stereotypical couple in hard ...

As the first two lines foretell, it's a repetitive poem that goes on for way too long saying way too little. You could cut out half the poem and it ...

Proofread this, or have someone proofread it. It was verging on incoherent in places. And once you do that, reevaluate your plot. It was equally nonsensical. When does this take ...

Tigersprite, I don't think I've ever given you a full review. Overall, I enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed the diction. The second paragraph is by far the strongest and I ...