KJ

I actually already had the addition to this all typed out and ready to go... BUT THEN MY COMPUTER PERMENENTLY DELETED IT. I was so pissed that I just abandoned ...

Awww, thanks :D

Hey. I have no time to comment, but I had to. I liked your addition. I didn't notice and grammar or puntuation mistakes, so good job on that. Wasn't boring ...

Thanks for your help. I learned about the socks thing in school. I was actually paying attention for once! Good thing I did, huh?

You have great detail in this. I actually found no problem with it, except perhaps that there was a bit too much telling rather than showing. But sometimes such a ...

Yeah, that is interesting about the Jimmy thing. I've never seen Independence Day, so it wasn't intentional. Thanks, by the way, for your stars and critiques. Really appreciate it.

:wink:

:wink:

I very much would like to read this, but there isn't enough spacing. Maybe I have sensitive eyes or something, but it's too hard to read.

It was okay, only I didn't like the beginning. Too common, starting something out with someone getting out of bed. But the rest was, as I said, okay.

Agree with the others. Too much description. But it is lovely. Only problem I have is spacing, and one part should be in Italics. Other than that, it was great. ...

It was okay. But... I really can't picture Edward squealing. It takes away from his elegance...

I think that your character development needs a ton of work. And it DOES all go way too fast. Drag it out a little, make it interesting. Add some scandal, ...

To be honest, I got bored. Didn't even read it all. Maybe you should try changing your hook. The reason I opened this was because I thought your title was ...

Thanks. Makes me feel really good :)