KJ

I don't know... it was all too perky and felt too preppy for a girl who's been labeled girl-behind-a-book. It may be just me, though. I'm a serious reader, and ...

Only thing I found was this: D. r. a. g. o. n Normally, since someone is is spelling out loud, it would be: D-R-A-G-O-N. I enjoyed this. I genuinely hope ...

Hey. I think you need a way better hook. I got bored and didn't even finish it. Sorry. The day that everything changed, that’s day that everyone remembers. This doesn't ...

Hey Ash. I know that you're pretty much done with this piece, and you're not coming back to it, but just wanted to tell you to keep writing. It wasn't ...

It wasn't bad. But one thing bothered me. At first the mother was all, "Oh come here my dear" and then when her daughter expressed sadness at her leaving she ...

Hated all the exclamation points. Capitalization needs work, also. Was way too short to really develop an opinion about this. But what I did read I did not like. It ...

I liked the dark beginning. And it's a good start for a plot. But who is the MC? I know we're with an old man now. But there should be ...

One hope. One way to cope. Didn't like how this rhymed. Overall, I had no idea what was going on. I know you just explained, but you shouldn't have to ...

This was kind of dull. There were a lot of grammar mistakes. And the fact that he actually said something out loud when he was sneaking out is unrealistic. I ...

Nitpicks first. Come to us. Pull the trigger. Would look better in Italics. The thought made her laugh. Hysterically. Would be better as: The thought made her laugh hysterically. You ...

Don't have much time, but this was a pretty cool piece. I thought that it was very well written. Details were cool, too. You switched tenses between the two parts ...

Hey Ash. You did the period-instead-of-comma thing again. Now, I don't have any nitpicks because those were all covered. I guess I don't have anything negative to say. This chapter ...

Hey Ash. I'm glad that you finally posted this on here. Sorry it took so long for me to get around to. Anyway, I really liked it. The only thing ...

She was a slight but sturdy woman, with dark read hair and determined green eyes. "Red" instead of "read" he turned to his laptop, typed something hurriedly, then turned the ...

I liked this. Only thing is I would have put some more time between the boy with the cut on the elbow incident and the two kids coming to join ...