KJ

Hey. Genuinely, I enjoyed this. There were just a few things that stuck out to me: One, you had a few typos. No biggie, but you might want to go ...

Hey Ash. This chapter, though well-written and never dull, bothered me. Just the fact that Carmen is PUSHING her towards Isaac, while before he freaked if they looked at each ...

Hey JFW. I don't have time for a proper critique, but I wanted you to know that I read this, and I genuinely enjoyed it. It's sweet, and you style ...

A steady clinking reverberated down the long, empty, bone white hallway [should be dash between bone and white]. On the side of the hallway, were many metal doors with rivets ...

Hey E. Just wanted to attempt to return the favor for all your edits of my work. NITPICKS: My car had refused to budge, with Al, my next door neighbor ...

Hey Ash. Two things. One, about how your MC asked Carmen how him and Nora were. That's a question, I feel, that you ask someone asfter they've been dating a ...

I don’t know how long a sit there. I sat there “Did he rather stay with you?” Awkward wording. All in all, loved it. But very sad, Ash. You ruined ...

Hey Ash. Just a few things. First, the part where you described Carmen's eyes as liquid gold. That instantly brought Edward of Twilight to mind, considering he had golden eyes. ...

Hello. :) Well, I certainly like the MC's cocky, attention-grabbing narrative. This is very creative and unique. I can say that I geniunely enjoyed it. I guess I was reading ...

Hello. Just as the others have stated, this was very well-written and excellent. I really found no nitpicks, but there was one MAJOR thing I saw that no one else ...

Hello, my friend. Hee-hee, I've already read and corrected this. I think I corrected it, at least. I know I got lazy and failed to correct one of these chapters.... ...

Hello. Since I did not find anything to critique that Thunder didn't cover, I'll just give you my overall impression: I loved it. I think this is one of the ...

NITPICKS: Some were staring flat out at her, some were turning their haughty noses up; she looked like a simple farm girl, with her plain smock and lank black hair, ...

No offense, Ash, but the whole first-day-of-school thing reminded me of Twilight. So try to make that different when you go on. And yes, it WAS short... too short. I ...

Hey. Just one thing: I don't believe the jews were tatooed until AFTER they'd reached the concentration camps. In the ghetto they simply had to wait, and starve, and suffer. ...