KJ

This was a good beginning. Really, I enjoyed it. Despite the fact that many of the scenes didn't really seem to have a clear point to them, your MC's wry ...

Hey. To begin with the nesgative, I had three problems with this: Bad punctuation, you have a tendency to repeat yourself, and state the obvious. Puncuation is vital. It's important ...

Hey Ash. I guess I don't really know what to think. (But I DO know where you got your inspiration, tee-hee. In the car that day, going to see the ...

The gates of hell sure didn't seem as scary as I thought it would [Should be they - having the word "it" there implies that there is only one gate]. ...

To begin with the negative, I had two major problems with this. One, your punctuation (but I'm always really picky about that, so if you ever get another review from ...

As critiques go, I'm not going to delve all that deep - I think you've been taken care of in that area :) So all I am going to do ...

Hey Ash. Okay, so I finally got around to this and I only have two things to say, and neither are really things you NEED to change, it would just ...

Hey Ash. I only have a tiny bit of time, and was only able to scan this, but what I saw I liked. Print this out for me so I ...

Hey. I genuinely liked this. You have a vivid imagination, and some good dialogue. I would suggest a differnt hook, however. I think the one you have doesn't do the ...

I love the ideas you come up with. This is an interesting piece. Perhaps it was because I was reading too fast, but I didn't catch anything worth pointing out ...

Hey. I don't want to repeat what the others have been saying, and completely tear your piece to... well... pieces. Though there IS stock to what they're saying. But don't ...

This was a sweet story. Touching, and you have some lovely language in here. You should expand this. I've actually never read a story where the MC's are deaf. (Wait ...

I want to tear my eyes way form the scene that has unfolded before me, but something in my conscience is not letting me. Misspelled from . Also, instead of ...

Blood… Blood and death, everywhere. Its stench hung distinctly in the air, like a pesky mosquito that just wouldn’t leave you alone [It's probably just because I'm in a picky ...

lol uh... interesting? No one else seemed to have problems understanding what was going on, somaybe I'm just stupid because I did. It was funny, though, as already stated. I ...