JosephDean

Thank you so much, Ashley!! I edited my post; hopefully Jacob's part sounds a little better. That poor boy is going to undergo so many personality changes :P Also, you ...

He killed her with one of the knives on the counter top. I didn't want to just bluntly state that he grabbed a knife and slit her throat - even ...

I really am enjoying this story. Everything about it, including the older brother looking out the younger one. Your writing describes everything perfectly. The only thing that kind of bugged ...

Lol =] As far as my introductions, Grayson is in the "present" talking about his story, which is why the narrator talks at times as if it is in present ...

around me made it feel so right. Did you leave off the beginning of that sentence? :? Anyways, the content is still great. Yeah those stars are still a bit ...

this was really super amazing. like really. the writing was spectacular. haha. i'm a little bit blown away. Wow, thank you! And lol, yeah I should change "where" to "when." ...

Lol, even without the stars, I can tell where the writer changes :P This is still really great =D

Pandy: Haha, that is funny =] I usually have trouble reading someone's elses writing online but this time I read every word all the way through. And I usually am ...

Oh. My. Gosh. LMAO. Yay for the randomness. Kudos.

Poetry is supposed to be capitalised at the start of every line anyway. That's basic Poetry 101. :)

Yeah, I felt somewhat the same... [spoiler]I knew that they'd do what they did...... but part of me wanted Wanda to just stay in Melanie's body. I could definitely sense ...

The rhythm is excellent and the rhymes are wonderful. Try to expand it a bit and let us know more about what's going on. For what is there, it's great ...

First, thanks for your critiques. I do appreciate it :) Second, they're faux rhymes. They don't have to technically be exactly the same. Third, I switched to third in the ...

Thank you so much!

Well, one person who cared enough to look at it, I graciously thank you! :D I'm not a big fan of the A-A-B-B scheme myself, but this was written a ...