Young Writers Society

DARNIT. okay so I press preview and it works. But when i go to the page it doesnt work...so looks like it is stars again...

here is a key if i confuse you (in order of appearance..

**=letter

*=flashbacks

Im sorry this is confusing, swear it shows on the preview that i works but it NEVER DOES. oh well...let me know

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I couldn't look back. Not at his face. I don’t think I could even bear staring at his black converse. I would write him a letter tonight.

around me made it feel so right. I told myself I didn’t like him. I don’t. At least…I didn’t think I did.

Yes, I thought. With the wedding ring, necklace, all the information I couldn't tell to his face.

I hopped in my car, concealing the silent tears that fell. I looked in the mirror and saw him standing there with worry written all over his face. I didn’t deserve him. I knew I would never deserve someone as wonderful as Tyler. I was a backstabber, much more then that but I couldn't think through the anguish to find a better word.

The car started to life and drove away. I was thinking about the letter while staring at the gorgeous ring on the third finger of my left hand. I would never be Mrs. Simms because I didn’t deserve it.

The empty way my house felt didn’t settle right. Someone was suppose to be here with me. It was not supposed to feel this lonely. I slipped the ring off my finger and unhitched the necklace he had given me in fifth grade. Times had seemed so simple back then. Nothing was as near complicated as it was now.

I grabbed a pen and notebook paper. Thoughts went in and out of my head as I prepared myself. I knew I was going to cry and stain the paper with my acid tears.

**Tyler,

I’m sorry for all of the trouble that I caused you. You were good to me and my family but unfortunately my life doesn’t end here. I’m leaving and probably wont be coming back. I really do love you and still do, but I feel like that for both of our sakes that I really must leave. If we happen to see each other it will be as if we’ve never met. Please don’t try to convince me to stay and don’t try to come after me.

Until another life,

Lynette**

I folded it very neatly then put it in an envelope. Silent tears slid gently down my face and onto everything; the envelope, table, even my hands had tears on them.

I looked at my ring one last time. I dropped the ring and necklace into a velvet bag, slipping into the envelope, too.

A scene enrolled into my head as I remember the day he gave me the necklace.

*“Hey whatcha doin’ Ty?” I ran over to him with adrenaline running through my veins. I always got this way when I was with Tyler.

“Trying to get this batman ring. Look how awesome it is!” It was a simple piece of junk that was in a vending machine. It had the batman logo attached to it. Yep, pretty fascinating if you ask me…

“That is so cool…?” He looked up at me and smiled.

“You’re jealous.” I nodded my head.

When he finally inserted his quarter and turned the latch a little plastic case popped out of the machine. When he opened it he frowned.

“What? Did you get the Hello Kitty ring instead?” I giggled as I watched his face go from disappointed to a huge smile.

“Well…not exactly. It wasn’t what I wanted but it is better.” I went to look at it when he held it up and showed me instead.

“I’m gonna give this to you.” It was a little heart charm put onto a chain. It was inscribed with the words ‘love’. I smiled softly when I read those little letters. He walked behind me and latched it around my neck.

“I will always love you, Lynette. You’re my best friend.” I turned around and hugged him.

“Oh, Tyler. You’re my best friend too, nothing will ever change that!” He hugged me back as I twiddled the heart between my fingers.*

“Lynette! Get down here!” My father yelled, obviously wanting me to help him with pack up and leave. I kissed the envelope, put it in my pocket, and ran downstairs.

The grass crunched under my feet, I hadn’t done this since the first time I saw Tyler, wanting more; sneaking into his house without his knowing was to see his beautiful face in a deep slumber. But tonight I had a mission, drop the letter and leave.

Of course, that mission bombed when I saw that angelic face; it looked disturbed. He rolled onto his back, then back again on his side. He was restless. He knew that something had gone wrong between us. I looked over at him. Noticing his face made me remember the one night in tenth grade when I had come in his house for a completely different reason then seeing him…

*[i]“Shoot!” I whispered, stupid books he had lying on his floor! I turned around to see his blue eyes staring at me after hearing him stir in his bed.

“Lynne?” His voice had a thickness to it as if he had been in a very deep sleep. Why did I have to be so loud! Never in my life, had I ever, EVER, been that loud.

“Yea…?” I asked.

“What are you doing here?” He stood up and walked over to me. I didn’t think, till this day, he knew he was in his boxers. He had such a nice body. I had to keep reminding myself I was on a mission; I wasn’t aloud to get tied up in subjects.

“You said I could come over.” I smiled super big at him, making him just swallow repetitively for a minute until he could find his voice.

“But you already did, you left about two hours ago.” I grabbed his hand. This was the part about my job that hurt the most; the head playing. Making him think I cared.

“I decided I wanted to see you again. I love spending time with you, Tyler. I wasn’t ready to leave I just felt like a burden.” I looked down, making it seem like my confession was hard but honestly, I only felt guilty for the lie I had just told this innocent boy. He pulled me into his bare chest and I almost went limp. He smelt so good. The way his arms t was not aloud!

“You could never be a burden, Lynette. I uh…love spending time with you too. Probably more then I should. I’m glad you came back.” I had no words for that…*

I shook my head, trying to shake the memory out of my head. My heart throbbed as I looked at him, as I put the letter on the pillow next to him. I had to get out of here. Reminiscing was not my thing.

*“Lynette, are you okay? You’re acting different today…” I looked up and put my hand on his cheek. Smiling up at him I realize no one could have so much love for someone as I had for him. I had fallen in love with him to answer his question. Of all the things that God could have made me do he had to make me fall in love.

“I’m okay, I promise. I just have some things on my mind.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and his eyes closed as he leaned down. His lips touched mine for the slightest second.

Then something changed. He had both his hands on my cheeks while mine were tied in his hair the second his lips had touched mine. It felt so right to the point where my skin knew how to react at his touches. I was lying down now on his pillow while he was over me. His lips came down on mine again with more pressure. Then we heard his door open and we saw his little sister was staring at us. Tyler jumped up.

“Claire!”*

I smiled softly, backing away from him. I wanted to leave these memories that were flooding my eyes, making me cry and not able to see.

“I love you, Tyler…” I whispered before his image disappeared as I left from the window.

Walking down his street to my car I had another memory, all because I had said I love you. I figured it would have been a mistake. But I had wanted to say them because there would never be another chance…

*[i]“How could you possibly think I even like her!?” I had realized I loved Tyler but found out from some other kid that he liked someone else. I couldn't’t believe I had been so stupid to actually believe another’s lies. Somewhere deep down in my heart I knew it would be better if Tyler like someone else; so much better…

“Look at me would you, Lynette?” He took my face in his hands and stared right into my ugly brown eyes with his clear blue eyes.

“I love you.” My heart dropped when I heard him tell me that, “I have loved you ever since we met. You may think that’s impossible for a fourth grader but I wouldn’t be so sure.” It was so hard to believe this was my best friend, subject, enemy, and possibly the only person in the world I loved with my whole heart, “I love you, Lynette…” He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed, “How could you even believe anyone who went against that. You’re the one thing I think about twenty four seven. The last thing I think of when I go to bed and the first thing I think of when I wake up. I love you…those words feel like honey when I say them to you.” He leaned down, his lips closed softly over mine; making me want him so much it was not far from insanity. I loved him, too. I was ever so hesitant to tell him this. So scared about how it would affect my future, I just didn’t know how long my heart could hold in so much love.

“I love you, too, Tyler.” I looked up at him and smiled. He smiled at me too using his thumb to smooth my forehead of the worry lines and he kissed me with as much love as there were stars in the sky…*

I was sprinting now; trying to implant the idea of escaping and getting away into my thoughts. I didn’t want to come back. Or so I tried to tell myself that. I knew that I really wanted to stop the memories. They were making it really hard to forget this town, to forget Tyler.

I swallowed.

Tyler.

Tyler Daily.

Tyler Daily Simms.

My best friend.

No more.

My boyfriend.

No more.

My fiancé.

No more.

His name burned a hole in my heart. Left a bad taste in my mouth and made the pain ten times harder to endure.

I sped off.

I would never look back ever again.

The pain was too much to endure.

I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock. It read six in the morning. I wanted to roll back over to fall asleep again, but curiosity got the best of me and I looked at my blackberry; the worst mistake of my life. My looking at my phone was proof that I don’t pay attention in the morning. My phone was filled with text messages and voice mails from…

Tyler.

I couldn't’t breathe; oxygen wasn’t flowing to my brain and made me do the unthinkable. I read and listened to the boy whose voice made me weak in the legs…

The text messages read:

Msge 1: Tyler-

No. You are not leaving. Where the hell are you going?

Msge 2: Tyler-

Lynette. Please…just let us talk. I don’t want you to leave. I love you, please don’t do this. Where the hell are you?

Msge 3: Tyler-

Babe, call me, or at least pick up your phone!

Msge 4: Tyler-

God dammit, Lynette! Come on, please you can’t just leave me like this! If you truly love me you will give me some answers!

Msge 5: Tyler-

Nettie…call me when you wake up. I know it is early but we need to talk about this before you make a decision.

Msge 6: Tyler-

No. I will not let you leave! Get your ass over to my house, LYNETTE!!!!! I love you more then anything in this world, if you leave me I’m not making any guarantees on if I will be able to make it through or not.

Msge 7: Tyler-

Okay….obviously you don’t love me anymore. I will understand just don’t do this to me. Was I too fast? Did I do something wrong? Did I push you in any way? If I did, please tell me. I swear to god I will understand. Just talk to me, please…

Msge 8: Tyler-

You are really are going to leave? No matter what happens, I will always love you, Lynette. Nothing will ever change that. You will always be in my thoughts, and my heart will always belong to you no matter how hard you try to crush it. I love you, Lynette. If you ever EVER feel like talking to me EVER again, I will always be here…

That’s when the text messages ended. I didn’t know if I could bear to hear his voice, the text messages were hard enough, putting a huge lump in my throat. I gave up. Hearing the sound of his voice was way too tempting to think rational at this point. I dialed one and let the voicemail play:

“Lynette, I understand you are leaving, even if I don’t know the reasons. And I know I have probably said these words a thousands times in the last text messages I have sent you, but I love you. I love you in every way possible. The Milky Way is nothing compared to how much you mean to me. You are everything to me. Everything, Lynette…

“But even if you come back and you think I would never bring you into my arms again, rethink. I would take you back without a second thought. I just wish I could hold on to you and keep you here. I always knew you were stubborn but I never thought it was this bad. Nothing I do would keep you here, would it? No I don’t think…

“Was proposing to you wrong? Was I too fast? We only went out for a year before I did, but it felt so right. Having you had felt so right. I guess my feelings were wrong. For ten years they have been wrong. Yes, that’s how long I have loved you, Lynette, and it won’t go away. I love you so much it makes me sick to my stomach…

“If you really are leaving, okay, I will let you. Though I will have you know that I’m stubborn too and it may cross my mind to find you. If it comes to that I hope you won’t push me away. So leave. But know you’re always in my thoughts and that I will always and forever love you. No matter what you say…I love you, Lynette…”

“There are no more messages…”

I hung up. The tears wouldn’t stop any time soon. They would just run me dry of everything I had. I curled up on a ball on my bed and let sleep numb a little fraction of the pain…

When I woke up it was because my dad was letting me know he was ready to get going.

“I have The Code safe and sound. You are the best daughter in the world. Who knew you could have made that boy so blind. But then again, look how pretty you are!” I dropped my eyes.

“Dad, please don’t mention this ever again in front of me, okay? I’m already dealing with enough…” He hugged me and kissed my cheek.

“All right sweetie, lets get going then.” We got in the car and drove off.

We got on the high way thirty minutes later. When I looked to the right I saw La Bistro. The place he had proposed to me. I started twirling my thumbs, hoping the flashback wouldn’t come. But I was wrong.

*[i]“You look so pretty…” I smiled, looked him in the eyes and couldn't’t stop from believing him, no matter what else was in the back of my mind.

“Thank you. You look good yourself.” He had on some black jeans with a nice, clean cut white button up. He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together, leading me to his truck.

When he got me in the car he drove off.

“Where are we going?” I asked, looking out the window, so curious to see where he was taking me. I was so excited.

“It’s a surprise, I cant tell you!” I giggled, Tyler always had these little surprises for me. The past year we had had together was full of many surprises, ups, downs, wonderful kisses, and unforgettable memories. So I shouldn't have been surprised to hear him say ‘surprise’, but it did.

“A little hint?” I ask, with a tiny smile on lips. He looked over at me when he had reached a read light.

“Dammit, how do you do that to me? Fine. One hint. Dinner. There you go.” He gave me a big humorous smile.

“That’s so not fair! I knew we were going to dinner!” He laughed.

“You didn’t give specifications, you just said a hint!” I slouched down in my chair and crossed my arms then made a ‘hmph’ noise. Then I felt his finger stroke my ear lobe, then trailed down to my earring, tugging on it lightly. I looked over at him; he was smiling softly, his eyes showing so much love, so much love that would stab me in the back when I was finished. I brushed that thought away and smiled at him.

“You will love it, isn’t that enough of a hint?” He whispered, then turned his eyes back on the road.

“Yes...” I whispered. Then I grabbed his hand and held it with my two. I looked up at him and saw him smiling, he was happy; I just wished I didn’t need to be the one to hurt him.

We pulled up to a little restaurant called La Bistro. We walked into the place and Tyler told the man his name. He was so cute, making reservations. Though, he never really took me to fancy places. One time, my surprise was McDonald's. That was a fun night.

“I like this place.” I said, because I truly did. It was warm, cozy and Italian. Who didn’t love Italian?

“Me too.” He smiled. We ordered our food with our drinks. I got spaghetti (I never went out on a limb), while Tyler ordered chicken parmigiana.

“I take you to an Italian place, where you could order anything at all, and you get spaghetti. You know, you are really predictable.” I shrugged and laughed.

“I know, but I just love spaghetti.” He shook his head at me and smiled.

“But that’s what I like about you.” I blushed, when he got all lovey dovey on me, I got so warm and blushed like crazy.

“I especially like making that pretty color come to you face. You really are beautiful, Lynette.” I looked down.

“Ashlyn Parker is pretty, I’m just normal.” Ashlyn went to our school, she was unbelievably gorgeous, every guy wanted her. Everyone expect…Tyler.

“No Ashlyn Parker is pretty on the outside only. You are pretty inside and out. You have the most amazing personality, Lynette. Then you put on a little dress like that, curl your hair, and smile…” He smiled, “then you are the most beautiful person in the world.” If he knew the black things I had inside of me, he wouldn’t find me beautiful, and all I had on was a little yellow summer dress. And so what if I curled my hair? I just got sick of it being straight all the time.

“No…” I shook my head.

“Don’t argue with me, Lynn. You know I will win.” I nodded my head, of course he would.

Our food came out. It was so good. It melted in my mouth and I all but licked the bowl clean. I looked up to see Tyler eying my funny.

“You do like spaghetti.” I nodded my head and smiled.

“It was really good!!” He laughed. Then looked me straight in the eyes.

“I didn’t just bring you here for food, Lynette.” Uh-oh. I looked down, embarrassed. What else could there be? I didn’t know what to say, so he just went on.

“I love you so much, Lynette. I have sense fourth grade. And I know its only been a year, but I feel like it has been more then that…” I started getting teary eyed. I had a hunch to what he was going to say next. I saw him get down on his knee out of the corner of my eye. I had to look at him. When I did, everything I had been thinking, everything I had been doing…stopped. His face was so beautiful, looking up at me with those wide blue eyes. I knew there were people watching, but he didn’t seem to.

“Lynette, will you marry me?” I started crying. Not bawling, but tears were flowing down my cheeks as I saw him pull out a ring. I couldn't find my voice; it was lost in the battle going on in my head.

ITS WRONG! YOU ARE JUST USING HIM! DON’T SAY YES!

And…

I LOVE HIM! YES YES YES!!!!

I did what I shouldn't have.

I nodded my head and smiled at him. He smiled so huge, slipped the ring on my third finger of my left hand, and got up to lean down and kiss my lips softly.

When we walked out of the restaurant, he drove me home. We didn’t say anything the whole ride home. I was thinking, knowing that if we were going to get married we were going to need to talk to my mom and dad, which wasn’t the most fun thing in the world. Especially since I wasn’t aloud to date subjects, let alone marry one. I was using him just to get to his fathers Plan that would make billions of dollars. I was using Tyler, but, then I also was in love with him. It was like a magnet, I couldn’t shove north and south together, they would just jump away from each other. This was going to be a problem.

We pulled up to my house, and Tyler walked me to the door.

“Thank you, for everything.” I whispered. Not looking at his face. I didn’t know what to say after his proposal tonight.

“You are my life, Lynette.” He leaned down to kiss me, but lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist. Then his lips crashed down on mine. This kiss made me forget what I had just been thinking about. My arms wrapped around his neck and brought myself closer to him. When his lips would escape for just a second he would whisper my name, rising goose bumps on my arms. His tongue ran across my bottom lip and I tilted my head backwards, his lips trailed down my neck and I thought I would go crazy for him. He brought his lips back to mine once more. He added pressure for a fraction of a second. Then he sat me back on my feet very softly.

His forehead was rested on mine. The usual thing when we were close like this.

“Goodnight, sleep well, Lynette. I love you.” He kissed my lips, then my cheek.

“I love you too…” I whispered, escaping into the house. I went running up to my room and collapsed on my bed. The glint of a diamond hitting off a light somewhere caught my eye. The tears burned my eyes as the realization hit. I would have to leave Tyler Simms, the love of my life.*

I turned away from the mirror, only to turn on the radio. I had been hoping to forget that memory. My left hand only had the ring on it for about a month, yet it felt weird not having it on there. The emptiness in the put of my stomach brought tears to my eyes.

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once again, sorry if this confuses you. I honesltly dont mean to mangle your brain.