Jiggity

Spaces. Use them. And I shall return.

hehe. I was waiting for this. In fact it was the main reason I moved the story to this Forum, because I know you tend to read more story's here ...

Okay, first off: Me likey!!! Secondly, there was a tonne of mistakes, I mean wow. I cant even put them all up in this post so I'll send you an ...

I know I must sound like a broken record, but still, thanks a lot. The next part, along with the other installments are now in Shadow (1, 2, and 3). ...

Thanks a lot. Ah, I put that there intentionally, but perhaps I should change it. Once again, thanks for the comment.

Omg, talk about analytical kill. I enjoyed it, pure and simple. And Im going to have to echo Firestarter: "Are you really 12?? You write, like way to well for ...

Um, this seems okay. No, glaring mistakes, per se. I may return and comb this through. When did you write it? lol, its reminiscent of Shadow.

Yup, I am now officially envious. That was, exceedingly well done. Unfortunately, there were no mistakes I could find, nothing I could criticise. But, you keep writing and I will ...

At the moment, yes. Although I may write a couple just for a competition. I started Shaman, which is in the Fantasy Forum (probly on the second page by now) ...

Where's the rest of this Evil Overlord List, I wish to read it.

Does there need to be a message behind a story? Its entertainment mainly. I just want to tell stories, in this case a story about a tortured soul ie Shadow, ...

There is no way in hell Im critiquing this, in the way its set out. Paragraphs, spaces, etc...make use of them and I may return.

Hiya fishr, thanks for the comments. I fixed what you picked out. As to the story, the little action sequence Ive got going now, has to end before I can ...

Honestly, sometimes, its just too much to go through. A lot of the time you couldshorten a sentence but you dont, you go for a longer version; this slows the ...

Hey,thanks. Thats like the first error anyone has pointed out to me; cool. Glad you liked it. I'll keep going, I really enjoy writing this.