Jiggity

The story is fine. By that I mean the one written by the fictional writer. The beginning needs a little work though, it was a bit too ambiguous for me, ...

Bravo. Very well written. The only suggestion I would make is for you to ease up on the sentences beginning with 'We', it gets irritating after a bit. Mess around ...

Okay. This is very well written, exceedingly so in fact. There are a cople of stupid mistakes, as you've already pointed out. The length of this is kinda daunting, but ...

Weird. Very weird. And random. Grammatically speaking this is excellent, a great piece of writing. But it's strange, it opens with a sadistic man taking pleasure in someone else's pain ...

Okay, first off. You use too many words in sentences, they are overly long. This story, which is dragged down by those over-long sentences, would benefit from them being chopped ...

Wow, this was surprisingly good. I couldnt find any errors, which disturbs me more then you could possibly know. Hmm...there was one thing, actually: 'm hoping the breeze in my ...

Haha, lol. This is ofcourse, quite good. I must be missing something with the king Max not in with it, on that particular facet, but I still enjoyed this. The ...

I enjoyed this...but I enjoyed the gushing comments even more. So, like Cassandra I initially thought that Friday was the day after and she was attending another party. I realised ...

You have one disturbing muse, I'll give you that! Maybe you should get it checked out, Im not sure your muse is right in the head. That being said, this ...

So there's another chapter. That was surprising for some reason. As per usual this is exceedingly well writtten, fantastically so I might say, but wont. The one thing that I ...

Okay, first off, let me say that I am surprised at the length of this piece. Its surprising in that it's not 100 pages long. Anyways, I think its really ...

Okay then, this is quite a strange choice to make, in terms of fan fiction. Its okay but it need a little work. His deep red with a hint of ...

It feels wrong merely being in this forum...tisn't natural I say! Im a story-teller not a poet but just this once I have delved into and crossed over to...the dark ...

Nonsense. Ive read prologues equally as long. Well, true to form, you've written exceptionally well, which is kinda grating but hey, your talented and good for you. So, anyway: I ...

Okay, maybe its just me but the quality of fanfiction seems to be increasing...or maybe its only apparent here on this site. Anyways, this was very well written, bravo! Despite ...