Jiggity

They say that those whose lives have been so agonizingly taken from us at such a young age tend to linger [s]just a bit longer to enjoy life’s simpler pleasures[/s] ...

Err, I don't even know if I should crit this in the proper sense... isn't this non-fiction in part? It is very well written, I can say, there are a ...

Oky doky. First off, and the biggest problem I can see, is that you Tell far more then you Show. Hera paced her bedroom, feeling enraged and defeated Dont tell ...

Garth Nix is the shiznit yo. I lurve his books lol, Ragwitch was awesome, and the Key to the Kingdoms books...well, I have all of them including Lady friday hehe. ...

First off, violent misuse of ellispes!! That is '...' a technique for suspense in an unsuspensful story, it just doesnt work, Disrupts the flow. There were quite a few minor ...

"Jess! Stop!" But I couldn't stop, not even for my friend. I needed revenge. Gap between the words. One sentence starts and another begins. You might want to consider as ...

Fantasy: Wars of Light and Shadow by Janny Wurts Magician by Raymond.e.Feist Enders Game by Orson Scott Card The Belgariad by David Eddings Legend by David Gemmel His Dark Materials ...

I liked the carving story more, you know. At least I did, now I'm not so sure. The second one is written in a folklorish kind of way that I ...

Very noice, Crysi, very noice indeed. I liked the idea...but I was a little confused as to what the idea was. Strange, no? I know. Hehe, no, it was the ...

Strange. Reminded me, for some reason, of 28 Days--which I havent seen. But I know of it and one scene in particluar seemed to represent this theme very well. But ...

sword in hand moments later. He turned toward the light and drew his sword When did he sheath it? A minor inconsistency there. So, have you seen Stranger Than Fiction? ...

Ah, nicely done Tri. I can see that the sentence structure is a deliberate stylistic technique, however, I think perhaps you could change it, so rather then describing it in ...

Bare feet walked silently across the autumn leaves and broken cobblestones [s]that masqueraded as pathways[/s] Take out 'the' and it will work nicely thus. Pale fingertips caressed the rough headstone

I thought we agree you wouldn’t address me in public agreed If it any consolation, I don’t think you’re crazy. it's “Like they don’t think I'm not a crazy person, ...

Yes, it was indeed very interesting. What dettie should have said was, who doesnt love crazy religious murderers who hear voices that are actually real? That, was the clincher for ...