Jiggity

Hm. I haven't read your other entries, so I don't if they are related, or if I have to read them in order to understand this better. There are also ...

Hm. I don't do line-by-line critiques - deal with it. Generally, I don't find the kind of satire you're writing engaging. It's very superficial - it operates on one level ...

Haha, I love you Icaruss, you know that? Probably not. Anyway, to Kylan's story. I'm going to go ahead and agree with him that it's a crime this piece has ...

The beach is empty today,[s] just like me. [/s] I think 'The beach is empty today' can stand on its own and be much stronger for it. I mean, then, ...

Cal! Hiya. *waves* So, this was extraordinarily boring. Want to know why? There was almost no action whatsoever and I mean, in a boy-crush themed story, that's just a crime. ...

using toes, knees, cracks in the floor, He pillowed his head with canvas sacks of his aunt's rice and stared at the ceiling Random Captilization, lol. Change the comma to ...

Heya, yoha. His, perhaps was one of the smaller, weaker, simpler lives, and undoubtedly one of the easier [s]lives [/s]to take. You say 'life' or a variation of it again, ...

Heya. I think this was great - not so much because of the story itself, which is good but not great, but because of the style in which its written. ...

Actually, I have to disagree with Patty. It's not attention span, it's bad writing. You have an okay premise with some promise; there's some signs that you can do good ...

Hey BBB, 'sup. I think you've got quite the interesting premise here, not an uncommon one, but with a somewhat different bent on the idea. Edward Phillips, you are a ...

Very few errors, only a couple of typo's, so good stuff. Nice descriptions; it flows well, the sentences are simple and the content is fairly interesting so all in all, ...

I don't know what it is, Gyr - maybe its that I'm tired, or just lazily minded at the moment, holidaying it up as I am, but I didn't find ...

Some Nitpicks: his warmth was more appealing than [s]what she usually got.[/s] That's a bit awkwardly worded. I'd suggest replacing the striked out words with 'expected'. Where do you want ...

Hey Gyr. Just got a few questions regarding the opening bit of this chapter. Why is the Headmaster of this all important Academe talking to her about something like classification? ...

Hiya, Gyr! I read this when you posted it, but I didn't really have much to say. I realised then that I had read this chapter before as well, so ...