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Jenthura

  • Short Story » General, General Re: By Day's End.

    Hi, Confictura. Despite the fact that you’re working with a very clichéd idea, you managed to get some original ideas. However, you made a few mistakes. Let me point them ...

    Mar 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Solstice

    Seriously, Azila? You wanted me to review this? Look at all the other ones above! There's nothing left!! Sorry to seem lazy, but I don't think I could mention even ...

    Mar 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: Give Your Immortality to Me

    Hey, Dcmc, I found this very interesting and, like Elinor, I love sci-fi! I had a little trouble when reading the first paragraph, however. In it, you speak of many ...

    Mar 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Story of Sampson P Harrison

    Hey, Lily! I don’t know the purpose of the contest, but if it was to merge the words as seamlessly into the story as possible, I’d give you my vote!* ...

    Mar 25, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Here There Be Dragons - 9

    I could almost put Chance’s thoughts into words: Jade. What a pretty name. Fits her eyes—so green. Look at the way her hair covers her shoulders…look at the way she ...

    Mar 24, 2011
  • Other » General, General Re: Anyone up for brainstorming?

    Woah, you're totally maxing out on creativity here, B2. I mean, linking together a dream and an idea you had before? Anyways, about the whole three seasons thing. You mentioned ...

    Mar 24, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: The Master Mind: Chapter 1

    Hi, UnicornNerd! Let me see what I can do about your story... Hmm, this isn't really a chapter if you purposefully made it short. You could consider making it a ...

    Mar 23, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Shh.

    Razcoon and Amelia did great reviews, so there's not much I can say here. With a story as disjointed as this, I normally get confused, but you did an excellent ...

    Mar 21, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Poseidon

    Hi, Megsug, I like what you've done here, but I have a few things to say... I had felt the need to travel abroad. So tired of the daily way ...

    Mar 21, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Deleted

    Alright! She jumped a little at the sound of his voice. After she had recovered from her surprise she replied , This part does not have an effective voice. Try ...

    Mar 9, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Exhausted Anger

    First of all, it was very hard to read. Not only did you bold and italicize and center it, you jammed it all together into a scary block of text! ...

    Mar 9, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: My Heaven, My Sun

    Hmm, it's obvious you're more used to doing poetry than short stories; this piece's prose is very flowery! I like the style of it, but in some place it can ...

    Mar 9, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: No. 10

    Excellent! I love the idea behind this, and the ominous note it ends with. I noticed a few errors (I queased as she snapped the creature[']s neck) but you could ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Bread

    Hmm, you’re writing about something that is very chaotic and full of turmoil, so I suppose your writing should reflect that. However, you shouldn’t go as far as to confuse ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: The deer

    Hey, Ninja, you’ve got a good thing going here, but you definitely need to work on it some more. The first thing I noticed were technical errors: inconsistency, invalidity, and ...

    Feb 27, 2011


so many languages have fallen / off of the edge of the world / into the dragon's mouth.
— Lucille Clifton