A daze of confusion clouded her mind and made her stumble in her tracks. Fire burned, her eyes caught every detail. Chaos all around her, it controlled her, kept her on its leash, held fast with its steely reigns. There was a whispered 'goodbye'... She would never be able to return again, she was forever bound and forsaken to be a slave. But she knew freedom. It was buried deep in her heart... Exhaustion forced her to her knees as her breathing rapidly became labored and heavy, her heart was racing faster than it ever had before. Then time slowed and her heart broke with pain, too many broken promises made the tears on her cheeks have meaning and held sadness deeply scarred into her mind. She no longer had a choice... His appetite ravaged her, was he never satisfied? It was all a game to him, a game that had an already predestined loser. He had cheated. It wasn't fair. Ignorance and lies kept her sane but now... Now she has to fix her broken wings and hide her cuts from the rest of the world. Brush off the hate and sadness and wipe away her tears. She had no choice... There was never a choice, not for her...
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
First of all, it was very hard to read. Not only did you bold and italicize and center it, you jammed it all together into a scary block of text! That made it quite troubling to read. I must confess that I skipped after a few sentences and just came down here to write this.
Fix the format and I'm sure it'll be better.
Jenth
Very interesting, I am intrigued. This is very detailed and it was beautiful. Your description is very interesting. I hope you write a lot more with this. I want to see a lot more so I can see the plot unfold. Even for a short, it's very good and leaves you scratching your head, coming up with many ideas. Vague, but it pulls you in. Muy bien! Keep it up!
This is really interesting. I hope your planning to write further and make this longer. This is quite nice. It's very detailed. Please keep writing.