Jenita

Hi! :D Well, aside from the weird spaces in between bunches of paragraphs, it's an interesting beginning. The ending immediately brought to mind snow white -- does this have anything ...

Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I loved the part about Ixchel. If I read that in a book in a book store I would definitely buy it. :D Umm... ...

Cool. Nice piece of writing here. I'm glad Kitty caught all the typos, because I would probably have been too lazy to go back and find them. ;) I have ...

I read most of the harry potter in third grade! it is definitly a lower reading level than inhereitance. The age you read a book at is not the same ...

Anyone read the Beka Cooper that just came out (or, rather, came out in November but my city's deprived library just got a copy)? I'm reading that right now and ...

Cool story, nice short read, and, of course, amusing. Only two specifics: Your first sentence... seems a bit off to me, as if it doesn't match style-wise the rest of ...

Hello. I love your avatar. I was reading one of your other stories the other day... did I comment on it? I can't remember. Darn this thing called a short-term ...

Hey, great story. :) . I thought you had a lot of detail, actually, considering this is a prologue. Specifics: I really don't think you need the first paragraph... it ...

Great story you have here. The beginning reminds me a lot of Harry Potter -- a stranger appears on a quiet respectable street, carrying a bundle, which turns out to ...

Okay, so, I basically agree with everything blackwings said... especially number five: Phil is WAY too much of a know-it-all at this point and is acting very snobbish. Not a ...

Hey, I think this version is better in its more detailed explanation and lack of lack thereof. A couple of specifics: It sort of seems like you're contradicting yourself in ...

Wow, this is tough... I suppose I got here late. Basically, I agree with everything everyone's said so far, especially about the long paragraphs and the cliches. And Cat and ...

That was pretty good. A few comments I have (mostly about the beginning): 1. I think you use the word "was" too much, which makes for telling rather than showing, ...

Let me see... You have a lot of mechanical errors in here, but I'm not sure if you want comments on those, so I'll ignore them for the time being ...

Let's see, what hasn't been said yet? In fantasy... ~Diana Wynne Jones is AMAZING. She writes mainly fantasy and some sci-fi, and though some of her books are bit boring ...