Jas

I think that this was great. Only problem I found was that instead of captivating me like it would in other chapters, the great description of the scenery confused me ...

lye in the fourth line after her 13th bday should be lay. I really liked it again. Post more up in now....yeah like NOW! I want to see where this ...

I think you mastered perspective through a child's mind. I think that you should jut explain the transitions between the years a bit more. Explain on her 5th birthday her ...

My gosh! I'm in confusion, awe and fear at the same time. I'm so confused right now because this made virtually no sense. I'm in awe because it kinda made ...

The line: or the comfort of being foud in a game of hide and seek is probably my favorite. I really liked this poem but the end was a bit ...

1. Grammatical Mistakes Green means I liked this particular phrase Grammar corrections are in light purple Red/Orange/Rerange/Oranged :p means I feel you should change that part Waking up to get ...

Opposite of flower_child actually, I liked the begining more than the end because in the begininng it was a different look on love, in the end it was quite frankly, ...

I liked it but the begining was going to draw me out. Just too cliche. It was good description and all but Iv'e seen it a million times. First say ...

Hey, I used to LOVE the twilight series but after reading it like 30 times I realized how anti-climatic Breaking Dawn is and how corny the love scenes and actions ...

That was a bit graphic. I dont understand how she was tied up though, like how one would be for public whipping kinda like how (dont take this religiously this ...

AHH! What happened to Cinderella, Prince Butthead and Delle triangle of affairous love?!?!? I'm gonna be honest here, you really don't have much of a plot here...but I still love ...

URG! This was originally supposed to be about her love for Prince Charming! And who names their son charming? Like the second the sobbing baby comes out the mom goes, ...

Once again loved the story, but Im starting to not like MC...she's turning into one of those god-forsaken heroes...uck. Too cliche for my liking anyway good job and it was ...

I feel so akward writing all these questions and critizism now because I realized a bot too late that the questions wee all answered in upcoming chapters. *akward* Anyway (my ...

ZOMG! Your 14?!? Yayzers! I can now reassure myself that the fact that you are two years older than me gives you rights to be better! Well my subconscious disagrees ...