Jannie

this is going to be line by line. --- I face your back, [change could be something like, i stare at your back, i gaze at your back or something] ...

okayy, so i'm a grammar freak. yeah i am...so... her we go... i have a problem with your CAPITALIZATION! --- She Walks Past Me Everyday, The Smell Of Her Perfume ...

here I go again. I'll go line by line... --- I will never get to see you, Hold your hand, [i'd suggest : OR HOLD YOUR HAND] Sit next to ...

i have poems like this.the rhyme thingy. i LOVE poems with the rhyme thingy. it's got loads of potential. --- LINE BY LINE COMMENTARY... There must be more to life ...

I think they wanted to save your life Or keep a poor 16 year old from a lot of strife. --- okayyy. the line above was OUCH! it seemed...errr...forced? but ...

Nobody wanted an ugly wife Nobody who was anybody anyway... --- i liked the lines above. i guess because it's a fact. yeah. it is. anyway, this poem would have ...