JFW1415

Sorry. Now that it's summer time, I will be at the horse barn I work/ride at, so I won't be able to get on until Friday. (I posted on the ...

Eh... not bad? XD As I said, I can't do poem reviews. So post a chapter of one of your stories and maybe my review will actually be helpful! Oh, ...

Alright, I added the revised version. All edits after this are to that. (Also, this post is more for myself, so I don't get confuzed, which happens often. :P )

I updated! :P

Sorry, sworddance. I have to go to school. I'll work on it there, and hopfully type it up once I get here. Although, if I have other reviewers, it might ...

Alright, I just posted the revised one. Please review, ad read my note after the prologue. ~JFW1415

Thanks for the review! I'll probably fix that and re-post...again. :P And it was supposed to be just 'brushed off as if it were dust,' because she doesn't really show ...

I didn't mean to put dimwits twice. I didn't realize that i did. I'm going to post a revised version in about a half-hour, after dinner, but I won't be ...

Wait-isn't his name Kingsley? Whatever. I liked it, although it reminded me of Earogon (or however you spell that.) I actually couldn't find any mistakes! *Claps for B.Ink*

Good! You're taking out the first one. But I'd leave the other two squashed up. I knew what you meant there, and it sounded good. And about the whole second-person ...

I really enjoyed the edited version. I wasn't being lectured at! :P The only spot I could find that sworddance didn't already point out was the name. Bananatown. Sorry, but ...

Alright, anything after this post is for the revised version. PLEASE review and tell me what you think! I'll review yours if you do, just PM me. :P Thanks!

I like it! I hope you continue. The only thing I could find was the lack of character development, although that is probably just because it is flash fiction.

Okay, so I just updated. Any reviews after this are going to be for the revised one... :P Thanks!

Thanks for the review! I was kind of going for that whole unknown idea in the prologue. Basically the rest will be different character's reflection on what happened (like the ...