JC

Following the disposal of empty boxes, I decided I’d reward myself with a steaming hot bubble bath to wash away the tension in my screaming muscles and ease the awkwardness ...

Original preservation inhibitor (OPI) Because it can be abbriviated, I assume it's a name for something, capitalize the P and the I as well. I think, chances are I'm wrong, ...

Wow...I liked this, your writing is very good, though there's always room for improvement Suggestions: This so far seems heartless, and I know it's early on and creating clones isn't ...

As he stood behind his desk day dreaming the ringing of the gold bell on his desk sounded loudly. The noise snapped him out of his trance. There before him ...

but there was nothing but the small breeze Using but in such close proximety can confuze the reader, or at least make them pause in their reading, like deja vu. ...

I, however, stood my ground. The word however here creates a stop, and I had to read the sentence twice to make sure I got it right. I think you ...

Why are you ignoring me?" He asked softly. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "Tyler, how can you not know?" I said gently. This should be ...

despite she had just finished puking her stomach up a few seconds Despite doesn't entirely work in that context, you might want to say 'despite the fact that' or 'even ...

Just mum downstairs that meant. Please change the wording here, I had to read it a few times over to make some sense of it. ‘Easy Beanz’ You changed the ...

Doctor’s appointment today I don't think doctor should be capatalized, but I could be wrong... Yet another beautifully written section, I really really like it. Your characters are extrememly beleiv

This was what I had been dreading. This was what had kept me awake night after night. And this was the conversation I had been avoiding. It seems like these ...

No one did care though Either this sentence didn't make sense to me, or it just didn't fit in. Either way I think you should do something about it. :arrow: ...

A loud banging noise echoed through my head. It woke me up with a start. These seem like they would be better as one sentence instead of two, but it ...

Well, there shall be no boxes for you today(from me anyways)! So, shall we begin? First of all, near the end you said, his eyes, his eyes. Didn't make any ...

“I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have ended this way”, he whispered. Typo, the comma should be before the second quotation mark. The last words I breathed out to him was “I ...