He Didn't Know

I loved him. But he didn’t know. All those times I stood near him and watched as he flirted with other girls. He didn’t notice that in fact I dressed up just for him to see. During lunch, I would stare at his face and wonder why I was so in love with him. Was it his looks? His physique? What was it that made me crazy like this?

At times, I caught him at phrases where everything just seemed beautiful. The way his lips moved and laughed gently as someone made a joke. How at times, he would get his faraway look when he was concentrating hard.

I couldn’t keep myself away from him. His presence fascinated me. I would feel cold chills run up and down my spine. I couldn’t speak when he was standing next to me. My heart froze for a second before beating away when he was gone. I would follow him everywhere but nobody noticed. I was quiet, attentive, and alert. Every move he made, I watched.

But I never knew my life would turn out to be this way. He didn’t know that after he accidentally dropped his milk carton that I picked it up after him and threw it away. He didn’t know that when one of his books dropped that I put it neatly back into his locker. He didn’t know the things I was doing for him. And at that, I was even more determined to make him notice me. Make him see all the things I did for him out of love.

One night, I spotted him by the cemetery. He seemed a bit weary. Quickly, I changed and followed after him.

Down the rocky road, I saw that he was carrying a package. But what kind of package? It seemed very heavy for he was puffing and huffing loudly. His biceps bulged as he pulled the package into a hole. I hid behind a large tree trunk and waited.

He piled on mounds of dirt on top of the package. My foot was caught on a root. As I struggled to get it out, my left hand broke off a branch of a nearby bush. He quickly turned around and scanned the cemetery. I held my breath in until he resumed back to work.

When the task was done, he headed out towards the entrance. I scuffled behind him.

I could tell that he was in a hurry for his steps were light and quick. I nearly had to jog behind him. But there was one thing he didn’t notice in his hurriedness.

Bright lights flashed. My reflexes were fast. With this sudden instinct, I ran and grabbed a hold of his shirt to pull him back. I could feel his shocked expression. As I landed hard on my ankle and him next to me, I thought that he would notice me.

But as it turned out, I had landed deep in a pit and everything of me was concealed, considering that I was wearing black. He looked around and went into his car before driving away. Tears ran down my pale cheeks. But at least I saved him didn’t I?

Next morning, I stayed in bed. School was no option for me. Last night, I ran a high fever and my ankle was still swollen. Mom took me to the doctor’s office. I was given a cast and crutches along with several prescriptions.

It turned out that I skipped a week of school. There were many things that I needed to be caught up with.

When I came back, nobody asked how I was doing or how I ended up in crutches. It was a miserable time. Even more miserable when I saw him chatting to a couple of his buddies as if nothing had happened. But I knew everything that happened.

A month passed and my ankle healed. I still followed him everywhere he went around campus. Sometimes, he would turn around but it seemed like he was seeing right through me, never making any eye contact. Even though I tried to pretend to wave at someone, he didn’t see.

And so, I decided to give up. He would never return my love so why should I love him? But it was impossible. Everything about him was what I loved and it was hard to push them away.

But I tried. No longer did I follow him. No more did I stand near him. I avoided him throughout the day.

After dinner with Mom, I went out for a walk. Something seemed suspicious. I turned around a corner and then stared at the cemetery across from me. There were a couple of people. One seemed familiar. Then, a silhouette of a gun appeared. I ran towards it without any further instinct.

I saw fury and frustration in his face. His voice grew louder and louder as the trio fought against each other. The odds were unfair. The other two were siding against him and I observed how he struggled to prove his point. But then, one rammed the gun onto the side of his head. I was alarmed.

I watched as they circled him. Their cruel smiles grew wider. They spoke softly but anger infuriated through their voice. The other one of the pair pulled out his gun. He aimed at the chest but before he could pull the trigger, I ran out and tried to snatch it.

For the first time, our eyes met. His surprised look was something I wanted to see.

However, my attempts failed as the gun only flung out a little bit away. I fell to the ground but quickly forced myself up.

One of the pair reached for the gun while fumbling for the trigger. This time, he shot so quickly that I barely had time to react.

In one quick moment, I dashed out in front of the guy I loved. There were too many emotions surrounding me. I didn’t feel the pain as the shot penetrated my chest.

But as I felt my back against the cool grass, I knew that I was dying. Blood seeped out and stained most of my clothes. I felt droplets pouring out of my mouth.

The sound around me was minimal. His scream was muted but I did hear a car driving away.

I felt him hovering above me as he stroked my cheek. His eyes were full of concern.

“I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have ended this way”, he whispered. “But you saved my life. We need to get you to the emergency now.” He grabbed his cell phone but I stopped him.

“There’s not enough time.” I stared straight into his dark eyes.

The last words I breathed out to him was “I love you” before my eyes drooped and closed. But before that, I felt his lips touch my cheek. And for that, I smiled.