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Incandescence

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: [deleted]

    Amelia - Consider: Not even the lamp shuffling light from above could penetrate the darkness of our palms. Skip the change and close the frame: no longer do your feet ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Fascist

    biancarayne, This will surely get you an A in your history or english class when discussing German literature. For my buck though, I can take any set of five lines ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Winter

    iQuippie-- Everything here is pretty standard descriptions of winter time. If you want to discuss seasonal emotions, find a more interesting set of statements than "snow fell down upon our ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: What's left to do?

    write_ma_hustle, I find this a very heavy meal to chew through. Lacking all human interest. What is it about? The monotony of making bad decision? What is of concern here ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Venomous Attraction

    xImperfectlyPerfectx -- This is like fishing with dynamite. It completely misses the manufactured breathless quality of intoxication, though I thought the first line was a step in the right direction ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: You'll Forget

    PenguinAttack-- This was on life support until I got to "pelting wetness of storming rain," at which point I pulled the plug. This is overmodified fluff with no redeeming poetic ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Heartsore

    AmberAngst. This is junk. It's a poorly conceived, ineptly executed stream of gibberish that resembles millions of other pieces by beginners who reach for sentiment and come up empty. Read ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Finger Paint

    Cameron: Dropping the first two lines is not detrimental--do it. "Man's own attempted chronicling" is too boring for a poem so light. "own" is needlessly repetitive anyway. A fine piece ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Slave

    Sureal, With the first three lines, the reader will abandon hope of finding a poem beneath them. If someone hobbled up to me in a bar and repeated them, I'd ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: she whispered winter

    Evangelina, Cut S2. I was not a fan of the mispunctuation at the beginning, i.e., "whispered winter deep / her roots planted...," which should have a comma at the end ...

    Sep 2, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Prince

    Mad, What is this? Let's not kid ourselves here. Poetry is not a story with awkward linebreaks; at present, that's all I can manage through the rubble of this hopeless ...

    Aug 28, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Troubled Reflection

    hazel_eyes, Punctuating this (unless done with a shredder) is a waste of time. The solution: get a new sheet of paper. As opposed to weak descriptions of personality and vague ...

    Aug 28, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Night Music

    cymbeline_x, This poem's only accomplishment is its demonstration of your knowledge of the "Enter" key. The one-word lines neither invoke poetic reflection nor provoke a start-stop reaction that makes

    Aug 28, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Lullaby

    iQuippie-- As with the other poems of yours I've read, this is a metaphor that has been drawn out longer than its Carbon-dating allows. In the future, you need to ...

    Aug 28, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Parents

    order-- This reads like you somehow botched a trainwreck. The outpouring of images that lead nowhere, the repetition of "desire" (except, for no apparent reason, at the second to last ...

    Aug 28, 2007


Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe