Idraax

I like the flow of this. I don't get the "improbable love" part though. I think you can make this longer and explain why the love is improbable. Your poem ...

I like your cliffhanger. I can really sympathize with your character. Although I am confused as to where she got the bloody rock from and what the whole scene with ...

It's good, but going from the first four lines to the next seemed (to me at least) that it didn't really flow very well. Also, in your 3rd stanza(each, I ...

This is a good start. However, your last two paragraphs sound a little repetive and I think you can combine them into one paragraph. Also, add some more background information. ...

First, I love the diferent dialouge colors, although the light pink and greenish yellow are hard to read. Second, " If you do battle with Lucifer and win" this part ...

This is great. I love your descriptions. Although, I found this line a little strange. "they can bear water, princesses, or Salem, Massachusetts." I like the way this rhymes, but ...

I like this.The emotions really come across. It makes me feel sad and I think it would have had a greater impact on me, if it was raining right now. ...

Your opening chapter is interesting. However, your beginning sounds a little repetitive. Your story flows nicely, although you mention an act(in the first couple of lines I think) and don't ...