Huli

Try a better beginning than just telling the character's name. Maybe start with action, or dialogue. This just definitely be expanded, and try adding more details. Also it would be ...

I love the circle ending, very creative. There is a little info dumping that is unnecessary. Make sure the the information is needed for your reader to understand the story. ...

"Old men, women with little children." I think you don't need this sentence, it seems to say that these are the only other people. Though besides that, I loved your ...