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Re: Panic
I probably shouldn't be reading this story at night. lol. Well, you have to deal with your emotions someway, and panic seems like a sensible emotion to have at a ...
Aug 24, 2008 -
Re: black heart, dark shadows
There were a couple of lines that didn't make sense... "Back seas" I've never heard of a back it confused me a little bit. I noticed that a lot of ...
Aug 24, 2008 -
Re: Beyond the Heart
"She could smell the sweetness of his mother’s cookies that were her trademark," maybe you could word this part better, something like " His Mother's trademark cookies" or ever "signature ...
Aug 24, 2008 -
Re: Fate Calling
awwwwwwww, i love Jasper's character and his accent! so cute! there's just one thing, though. this sentence is worded a little weird at the end: I" nodded my head. I ...
Aug 23, 2008 -
Re: Broken Wings
The first chapter is pretty descriptive, which i like. lol. but maybe, more of an intro. I mean, you just start reading the story and WHAM! there's faeries, werewolves and ...
Aug 23, 2008 -
Re: The sandstorm in my eye
wow. i really like it.... The way you wrote it, like one sentence , with no punctuation, really adds to the whole "sandstorm effect". I really like it, but maybe ...
Aug 23, 2008 -
Re: Falling faith
I love the truth to this poem, because it's a simple fact that if you trust anyone, you will soon get hurt. everyone goes through life with pain, and i ...
Aug 23, 2008 -
Re: Dust to Dust.
wow........that's really beautiful and full of meaning. it's great. you should get it published in some kind of poetry book. I actually have one of my own silly poems in ...
Aug 23, 2008
