Hermes

Thanks for the critique. On the first one: I had no idea what to write for the poem so I stuck to the format that the example came in. I'm ...

So I haven't posted anything in like, months. I have three poems, and they're a lot longer than my previous ones because, well, I'm like that. So here's three poems ...

V The office of Clancy Livingston was a large, modern themed room with a great bay window looking out over the Divix training grounds. The president of Divix reclined in ...

IV Ezra and Derek sat in silence in the cold locker room as they changed from their uniforms. The room seemed darker and more metallic to Ezra as he pulled ...

III Salt water and spray splashed upon the researchers out on pier forty-three. The man in the yellow slicker slipped into the safe-house, shaking the stinging water from his eyes. ...

Thanks for the comments, PN! I updated the prologue and shifted one of the paragraphs in chapter one. I think the grammar issue was fixed as well. Chapter two, hot ...

I agree I think you should lengthen it and describe the events that preceeded. It was a very nice story, but mostly about self-pity so some reasoning would be cool.

The rhythm feels a little weird to me but that's just my opinion. I like the concept but I think you could do more with it than where it ends.

I read most of these books in two days. I really like this series and I can't wait to pick up the last one and finish it out. I found ...