Heidigirl666

I quite like this as a piece of dialogue. However... The 'Meanwhile...' bits are kind of cheesy, like a film with a really bad narrator, like George of the Jungle. ...

I'll have to admit to not reading all of it :roll: , but I've observed a few things from what I did read. You had some good powerful imagery, and ...

Hmmm...I'm not sure I really liked this, but I think probably with some revision it could be quite good. At the moment it just seemed to lack feeling. And don't ...

I liked the beginning, but the ending came across as a little bit rushed. This bit: The young assassin inside was fuming at his adversary’s advance. He knew they would ...

You've changed it a bit...it's better actually from the first draft I read. I love the idea of someone talking to a stuffed pig in their room who's trying to ...

I really liked this. I thought it was a really strong piece of writing, and I liked that it didn't have a definitive ending, if that was the ending. :) ...

I'm shocked. :shock: :lol: No, seriously, what sort of uptight school did you go to? I thought it was quite well written too, although you might want to watch how ...

I thought this wasn't a bad start. It was interesting and surprising and it did make you want to read more. You might want to look out for inconsistencies though. ...

I thought this was a really good piece, it really grabs you and makes you want to read on, so I hope you write more! But as someone else said, ...

Ahhhh!!!! :thud: Couldn't stand Wuthering Heights. I really had to struggle to get to the end back when I read it. I found it irritating, involving far too much whinging ...

I started to read it, because my mum said it was really good, but I just couldn't get into it. The beginning where Briony is putting on a play with ...

I thought this was really good, I wouldn't be at all discouraged at it being rejected. It is a very strong piece of writing. Some of it made me laugh; ...