GryphonFledgling

Wow, even better than the first one by way of character and world building! I'm liking it better and better! --- I noticed something that you do both in this ...

The tone for this piece was kind of slow, despite the frenetic scene of a club it is describing. It comes across kind of dull and bored. And it completely ...

This looks hugely familiar. Where have I read this before? Really, I remember reading this exact things somewhere before... Some other website, perhaps? *scratches head* “Zut, what is that?” I ...

This was so sad. I reacted rather strongly at the end, because you spent so much time describing the creation of this letter, only to destroy it in the end. ...

This was intriguing and I'd like to see where it goes, but as is, there is really no point to it and it sort of doesn't make any sense. I ...

An interesting piece. I liked it, but I really failed to see the point of it. Was it a bit of observation? If so, I'd put it in non-fiction. As ...

I'm a little confused... Is this the second part of your story? Then what is the other "Professor" bit you have on here? Numbers in your title might be a ...

*vicious alligator promptly closes jaws* Wow. Absolutely amazing. I really have no critiques for you. I am horrible with titles, so I can't really help you out there, though I ...

The last line seriously had me chuckling out loud. Very clever. I liked this story a lot, actually. It was sweet and funny, and definitely felt like a children's book ...

Ooh, very nice. I'm not sure why, but I instantly liked Bluekai simply for his name. Bluekai. I don't know... It's just a cool name. That said, the rest of ...

Ooh, very nice. Really, your writing is really solid here. I was going to call you out on the whole infodump on the school, but it actually works somehow with ...

Hey hi! New members! *squee* Okie dokie, first, your title. Please change it to something else. As is, it really does nothing for you. It isn't really even a title, ...

Hey hi! I'll be your reviewer today! Okay, first off: yay for falcons! Seriously, I'm a fan of birds of prey. Just had to give a shout out. Well, Haruno ...

Wow. I loved this. The protagonist, the narrator's voice and position, everything just... *sigh* Absolutely marvelous. Um, one thing: I'm not much of an expert on sheep, but from what ...

Wow. Really amazing. This was such a strong voice. It drew me in. I'm a fan of this style of story and you are really pulling it off marvelously. *blinks* ...