GryphonFledgling

Okay, it was your title that dragged me in. I clicked on your novel and it was the synopsis that make me read on. Seriously, this has got to be ...

My first reaction reading this was that it wasn't all that realistic. I mean, who talks like that? How many people are having conversations like that just hours after meeting? ...

Oh. My. Goodness. I don't know what I was expecting when I started reading, but it certainly wasn't this. Simply fantastic. A quick question: what is it that he is ...

Omigosh! *spaz* Must. Review. Nao. Is Kerani on guard duty outside her parents' door or is she eavesdropping? I was unclear as to why she was there. If she's on ...

Seems most of the nitpicks have been pretty well-explored, so I'll stick with general impressions. 1) Character - Your character feels very... blah. All we know about her is that ...

Hey-oh! I was actually really interested in your characters. Alex's schtick "student who the teachers hate" has been done a million times before, but I liked his outlook on life ...

I tightened my ponytail to make a point. Can I just say that this is my single most favorite edit you did? It gives character, adds immediacy and gets rid ...

Hey-oh! Not so much the nitpicks will I give. More general impressions will I focus on. (And no more like Yoda will I speak.) 1) Exposition! It's the beginning of ...

Hey there! Your world-building was nice, but to be honest, I had a hard time really getting into it. There were no characters for me to cling to or a ...

Can't say I've ever listened to Flyleaf, but you have me intrigued. Investigation is in order, I believe. Story-wise, I liked this. It was an interesting take on Christianity and ...

Hey-oh! Okay, really quickly, the formatting in this chapter is wonky. I can see that you have divided it up into paragraphs, but the way YWS put it in resulted ...

This was interesting. I was sucked in from the beginning and intrigued the whole way through. The second person narration bugged me occasionally. Sometimes it was fine, other times it ...

So... She ended up in the library without knowing how she got in the library? And she doesn't feel freaked out about this? I liked the character, I was just ...

This is Watson meditating on Holmes, isn't it? In any case, this is fantastic. The little moments of revelation and thought and action all broken up the way they are ...

Hey-oh! This was lovely. I clicked on the picture before I read the piece and it works so wonderfully. Nice interpretation of the prompt. Some nitpicks: He was wearing a ...