Gladius

Walking in the pouring rain, It’s coming down like an big old' fiery flame. Hm. Interesting--but it needs to be fleshed out more, I think. Also, there's a bit of ...

Oooooh, I love it! :D Actually, I think it's rather difficult to guess what it is you're personifying here--is it a scabbard?

He he. I wanna read more! :D However, one thing: You say at first that William is Zelda's cousin, but then when she hands the letter to Katherine it's 'King ...

"What’s up, Phil?” M y dad asked as he clapped me on the back. I looked up at [s]my[/s] D ad , who was only a head taller than I. ...

First off it's not a perssauive or an informative, our English teacher told us to write about something that intrest us, and I chose this. ...but when you do that ...

Ok, first off, the switch between the last part and this one was a bit abrupt. George (supposedly) dies from the gunshot, the plump man is dead, Aden is on ...

O.o Wow. This is great! I'm speechless. The only thing I can really say is it reminds me a lot of 'The Giver' how the whole society is controlled to ...

I loved this! :D Only two things, both dealing with semi-colons: The sun sinks ever lower; a smoldering red eye, stark and vivid in comparison to the spiky black islands ...

Good job! I can't wait to see how the Spartans play into this. :twisted: However, one thing: Lucas mentions the people living on the planet as being 'commoners.' In a ...

yay! *gets first dibs* I didn’t know if I felt any better when morning came ‘round. Hm. Not sure about the apostrophe...usually, you only use shorthand like this in dialogue, ...

Oooh, I like it alread. ^_^ I couldn't find any grammatical mistakes, and it flowed rather nicely. I definitely feel sorry for the poor guy now. Question is: Who set ...

O.o Wow. Angry father! lol Poor Sam. One thing- exactly how old are these kids? I think you mentioned in an earlier chapter Sam was 13, but the way things ...

Ok, Gwen, let's see what happens to Sam this time! I limped slowly into the changing room “Oh -- nothing , ” I smiled, “Hey! That hurts ! ” I ...

First thing I really notice is, when Sam is thinking she doesn't use contractions. I think you should use more contractions--it just feels more natural. I like to think characters ...

I'm not sure why we're Friends anymore I don't know if there's a particular stylistic reason for this or not, but the F in Friends should be lower case, and ...