Gladius

Oh, fun fun! =D I'm just gonna dive in, not much time right now. Salient Points [There was a few moments of silence, allowing Esme to take note of her ...

Aha! The next part! :twisted: Let us read, shall we? ^_^ Oh, forewarning--I love nitpicks, can be brutally honest, and am sometimes long-winded. :P ~~~~~~~~~~~~ She kept her head facing ...

Heya Swottie! Let's see if I can set some things straight for you. Grammatical Line-By-Line It should be this - “Here love,” said maid Josephine, handing Ellima a cloth, "Did ...

Ooh, just the sort of thing I like! A treatise on something that might/could happen or "has" happened. :D Let's see what we've got, shall we? Grammatical Line-By-Line ...seeing the ...

KJ! Let's see what's happened, shall we? :D Line-By-Line Zigzagging like I did on the other side of the range... I think had would work better. =/ Dane would be ...

Wooooow, this has so much potential--BUT! We must see more! :D I'll give you a little run down of some stuff I saw in what you have, anyway. ;) Line-By-Line ...

Because so many people have already critted you, I'll just give a few words of advice (like Charlotte up there :D). You seem to have a huge issue with pace. ...

Whoa! Ok, dude, this seriously needs some help. *stretches fingers out and cracks knuckles* Three men are in the middle of an abandoned where house on the outskirts of Boston. ...

Hey KJ! I saw this a while back and began reading it, but since everyone else had given their crits first and pretty much hit everything I didn't post earlier. ...

Hola, Shel! *reads* Just a few little things, now-- GUM (Grammar Usage and Mechanics) The cold December air bites through my blue North Face. Aaron lets me in, and we ...

Hello, Shel! Let's see what we've got here. *reads* General Impressions: This is a wonderful start! I love how you've begun the introduction of your MC. The meeting between Marissa ...

I like the beginning, I had a clear image of him at the grave and then it kinda blurred to where I didn't know what was going on until I ...

All right--I really liked this piece, and as I believe this deserves some attention (which I see is rather lacking), I'm giving you a crit. ^_^ Warning: I can be ...

Eep! SO sorry Jabber! I had to go to dinner late last night and couldn't finish this!! :smt119 :smt107 *dies* Well, here it is now! :lol: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Enjoying yourself?” “…En-joy-ing…your

Jabby! *pouncehuggle* You've got a new piece, I see! :D I think everyone's caught most of the stuff I noticed--and a lot that I didn't think about. ^^; Just one ...