Galerius

Hi Jon, This is one of the worst pieces on the first page of this subforum, and I truly hope that you understand why. Listen. If you want to write ...

Hi White Rabbit, The only part of this worth saving is the fourth line; maybe it's just the way it is worded, but one can imagine several existential conflicts taking ...

Hi persephoneia, The title of this poem aptly describes the feeling of the reader when having to trawl through this unfinished, half-baked mess. Listen to yourself: You realize you can't, ...

Hi bombshellcat, First of all, don't listen to people who whine about punctuation for the sake of punctuation. Granted, there are limits, but poetry should transcend such barriers. Secondly, this ...

Hi spiderman, I don't know the nature of the magazine, but I do believe that this piece will be put into the recycle bin by the editor. There is a ...

Hi Hibiscus, When the only good thought of a reader of a particular poem is "This will soon be over", you know you have a problem. And your issue is ...

Hi Kamas, This is the piece that you're submitting for the contest, right? We may be competitors, but I feel that you might still benefit from some things I'd like ...

Hi kingolions, It is good to see someone acknowledging that their piece is bad. The fact that you wrote this after hearing a song itself rings warning bells; songs cannot ...

Each float, each vestige in the parade of patriotism, is powered by a motive of non-altruism. Too chunky. "Powered by a motive of non-altruism", really? You're not writing a dissertation ...

Hi Jane Thermopolis, Stop repeating yourself. Yes, it's in a town, we get it. This constant churning of the same phrase over and over again makes it seem as though ...

Hi Navita, The reason we chose you to rise to the helm of that 2000-word contest was because of writing like this. It's good stuff, refreshingly tonic in its simplicity, ...

Hi Kylan, Gonna take the first poem right now and the others when I have more time, hopefully tonight. If it had been anybody else but you, I would not ...

Hi Samsal, This might have been a cute piece had there not been imagery speedbumps hastily plunged in to arbitrary spaces, jolting the reader out of immersion into the poem. ...

Hi Kyllorac, The beginning few lines are okay, and the rest send this poem to hell in a handbasket. Other reviewers have mentioned flaws that I agree with, but I'm ...

Hi Kaitelyn Miller, What amandajo said, albeit with competent grammar. This may have some kind of imagery and descriptive quality to it (read: basic stuff like comparing something to ribbons, ...