Fye

:O No wonder this has been left with no reviews for so long! It's awfully long, Jasmine. It's probably something with your word processor that you didn't clean up as ...

Thank you all for your crits. They have been all very helpful. Sorry for the late editing! But here it is, finally. Please feel free to review. Thanks. ~Fye

Punctuation inserted. Can anyone correct me if I'm wrong, please? Thanks a lot! Fye

Edited. Hoping for crits. Please and thank you!

Oops, one more thing. With "bastard" in there it probably shouldn't be rated G. ;) Just a thought.

Haha yeah, what I meant was that actually it's okay if your chapters are really long but as phorcys might have suggested people won't really have the mood to crit ...

Finally! I can understand what you're trying to say Fan haha I was a bit blur the first time I read your crit. Thanks! I've got some ideas for the ...

Hey everyone sorry for the late late reply. I'll see if I can edit it a bit after Tuesday. Via and Cade>> Yeah, I get it when you meant that ...

Seth took the time she swayed with her arms flailing to rush ahead so he could catch her before she dashed herself against the pavement. However, he slipped as he ...

Oh, I thought this part 2 meant chapter 2. But oh well, thanks for the PM! ...her shoulders moving as she breathed heavily. Oh dearie, I dislike "moving" replacing "heaving". ...

Waaaah... many many changes. *Activates critiquing mode* That means I might be too detailed at times but... ah, well. ;) The school year hadn’t officially started, so seeing a new ...

He was half Malay (from a tribal part of it somewhere) and half Canadian. :smt016 Haha you got it quite right this time. I think you can just say "half ...

Hmm.. I PM-ed canis but she still hasn't replied. Anyways, thanks everyone for the comments! But I'm still not clear what to improve for this story(as you can see, I ...

Thanks, Twit! Appreciate it very much. *hugs* Yeah, I don't know how punctuation works either. I was wishing someone might help me! Thanks again.

Thanks a muchies to all of you for the comments. I didn't think I could change it much though, considering that it's my first complete poem. Plus, this was written ...