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Re: (Unnamed) Chapter four (12+ Version)
Thank you for having the rating set a little lower. And I'm so sorry for not being on to review this yet! Oh, please forgive me! But as I was ...
Jan 2, 2010 -
Re: First story-- part 8
Hey, it's me again! So sorry I haven't reviewed this yet. Here we go! “Do not die.” She commanded. First, the period should be a comma. And she shouldn't be ...
Jan 2, 2010 -
Re: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
Excellent job! This was a great heartwarming story. And sorry for not noticing your reply in my thread sooner...hehe, I'm not able to get on as much anymore, though it's ...
Jan 2, 2010 -
Re: The Guardians: Elemental: 1.1-1 (Fruits Basket FanFic)
Geez, how many Furuba fans are out there? The world is coming to an end...! No, just kidding. :P Thank you for the reviews on my stories! I need to ...
Jan 2, 2010 -
Re: No Title yet. Just a freewrite
Intense! I'll say that. And it was very short. Very short. There's a major overuse of the word 'I' when it comes to beginnings of sentences in your story. Just ...
Dec 12, 2009 -
Re: The man with Killer Eyes
Hi Pen! I'm not sure this belongs in Fantasy, but I'll review, anyway! Punctuation errors. I noticed a lot of those, involving misused commas and missing semicolons/hyphens/etc. Almost all the ...
Dec 9, 2009 -
Re: First Story-- part 7
OK, here I am, yet again! Now where's my hug...? :twisted: (Just kidding! :P) First thing--wow! Great improvement on grammar! I only spotted one teeny-tiny error. Good for you! *claps* ...
Dec 9, 2009 -
Re: First story-- part 6
Sorry I have delayed so long. Anyway, here I am! :) Some of the grammar mistakes have already been mentioned, so I'll skip those. “What’s going on out here?” yelled ...
Dec 9, 2009 -
Re: Is this a good start?
Hi Pen! I'm so glad to see you're already a part of YWS! :P First off--I noticed several grammar mistakes. I hadn't had much problem trouble figuring out which bookstore ...
Dec 9, 2009 -
Re: First story--part 5
Whoa. :shock: That. Was. Intense. Perfect, Sara thought. Thoughts should be italicized, going with your consistent format from before. Perfect, Sara thought. Same thing. “Then I hope you don’t min
Dec 8, 2009 -
Re: First Story--part 4
Hi, it's me yet again! Very interested in this series...please continue. :) (she had said a total of 18 words during her entire time at the school.)But Sara assumed she ...
Dec 8, 2009 -
Re: First story-- part 3
Ooh, creepy. Definitely mysterious as well! :) First off-- Closet, there. Inside, safe. I think you can take out 'there'. Personally, 'Closet. Inside, safe.' sounds a lot better to me! ...
Dec 8, 2009 -
Re: No One Would Miss Me ~ Kingdom Hearts
Hi, Nutmeg! Here I am again. :) Behind an eternal veil of darkness, shrouded in a world of ceaseless night , there stood a castle. Please add in the bolded ...
Dec 8, 2009 -
Re: Iridescent Illusion ~ Kingdom Hearts
Wow! I'll say that was really good! :D certain of what to draw -- yet at the same time, I'd advise adding the hyphen in there. Without it, this part ...
Dec 8, 2009 -
Re: First story-- part 2
Hi. :) Since you asked for more reviews, and I really liked the 1st part, here I am! :P I’m supposed to give you a tour?” She asked Change she ...
Dec 8, 2009
