Flemzo

His laugh makes the butterflies in my tummy turn into bats. I'm having trouble understanding what this means. Is it supposed to mean that the speaker's jealousy of this boy ...

Pretty good overall. I'm not going to nitpick on the slight grammar and punctuation mistakes (a quick read-through and you'll be able to pick them out). A couple of major ...

I'll admit, this poem confused me a little bit. But it was pretty interesting to read, with all the surrealism and paradoxes. Good job. Just a couple of little things: ...

For it being your first poem in "ages", I'd say it was pretty good. I can kind of relate to it, especially now. Very well written. But, I noticed a ...

I don't think I've critted anything of yours before, so here's I do short stories: I critique as I read it, adding suggestions and personal reactions as I go along. ...

If someone dies, does anyone really care? I doubt they do anymore ; that emotion has long been quashed out of their soul. "Quashed out of their soul" seems awkwardly ...

A couple of things before I begin: First, title your work. I haven't been critting as much as I usually do, because people on this site have suddenly been against ...

*foams at the mouth* Right now I'm reading Tick Tock , and even though I'm only three chapters in, I'd definitely recommend it. Velocity is absolutely amazing, as is Life ...

Firstly, grammatical errors abound in this piece. There are so many problems with word confusion, grammar, punctuation, even flat out wrong terminology. Luckily, there are many different ways to corre

Crit will be done in my usual style: corrections and comments as I read through it. Collin wanted to be alone with her. I would rephrase this, possibly to "Collin ...

I'm critiquing this piece as I read it, and I apologize in advance if I'm a little harsh. I don’t know how all this happens, but it does, and it ...

Overall, it was pretty good. The only thing I noticed that was really wrong was your rhythm, if you even had any. Good poetry has a pulse, a sort of ...

I'd say I like it, but it's really preachy. It's saying a lot without really saying anything. Sure, people should get off their lazy butts and do something about the ...

Hey Conrad. I'm going on an adventure with you, and critting all four parts of this story. All of the crits will be line-by-line, offering suggestions and thoughts in real ...

I like the opening sequence of events: it sets the mood and atmosphere of the piece, while being humorous (though unintentionally, i'm sure) and interesting at the same time. Great ...