Flemzo

those three words never meant to escape your lips . stupid me , i should have known it hadn't been the first time . I'm highlighting this portion, but the ...

Anderson Cooper, eh? Personally, I'm a fan of the man, but I can see where your coming from. Imagery is powerful, and he knows exactly what to use to get ...

Musty old motel room... defiantly the last place I would have thought I would wake up. Looking for definitely here. Me, a straight A college student majoring in Law at ...

Perfect. I've been on a historical fiction kick recently. "...Just go sit down on that bench, okay?” She asked. Simple slip. A quick proofread will catch little mistakes like this. ...

Housing our lives; our loves, our passions. Hiding our hates; our lusts; our discontempts. I'm a bit of a semicolon stickler. And what I see here is a gross violation ...

I read this out loud, since you mentioned it was spoken word. It adds a whole layer of imagery to the piece, which I definitely love, especially the "crisp crackle ...

I couldn't find anything grammatically wrong, nor could I find anything wrong with the punctuation. The one thing that bothered me, thought, was the name choice: Angel. Doesn't exactly sound ...

Team Shamrocker Ahoy! First thoughts and suggestions as I go along. Right off the bat, "clean to the touch" is a weird way to describe someone's lips, expecially when you're ...

Chapter two! Finally getting around to this like I promised. Right off the bat, two things: “Hey Flynn?!” (fake) sobbing filled the background, “I pour my heart out to you ...

You say this is the worst thing you're written in 3 to 4 months. I say it's wonderful. It's strikingly different than the melodramaticism in the previous chapter, and shows ...

FINALLY getting around to this, sorry about that. I'm floating, riding a blood-deprived hallucination off my bed and out the window and down the street, past manicured lawns and houses ...

I noticed that one of the characters in this piece shares a name with me, so I thought I'd give it a read. Usually I'm really harsh when I'm critiquing ...

Right away, I'm finding a lot of punctuation mistakes in it. Here's how I would edit the first paragraph: I don’t get paid enough for this, I decided , running ...

Excellent work. I really got sucked into the story and can't wait to read more. Your flow was great, and your descriptions were very well done. The bar fight was ...

As a music major in college, I'm a sucker for anything to do with music. So naturally, I was drawn to this, and happy to see that there was only ...