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Re: The Princess~Part 1
Hi, Fantasy here for a review on your story! Just a warning, sometimes I can be a bit harsh, so if I offend you, sorry. Right, well, reading the description, ...
Jul 10, 2014 -
Re: Ordinary Days and Extraordinary Nights, Installment One
Hi, Fantasy here for a review! [snow flakes] this should be one word. That was pretty much the only error I found in this, so kudos for that! It’s usually ...
Jul 9, 2014 -
Re: My new life chapter 1
Hi! Fantasy here for a review of your story! So here goes. When you’re at a funeral, the person’s eyes are always closed. Not open. So your character can’t look ...
Jul 9, 2014 -
Re: Fathers of Power Chapter 3: Son of Aredes (P2)
In the first sentence, you have [“I already gave you children ample chance to escape…”] which one of two things need to happen to. Either put the word ‘an’ before ...
Jul 8, 2014 -
Re: Win me if you can (Teacher/student relationship) Chapter 1
So, first thing, you should keep your first three lines together, as one sentence, since they all go together and the formatting is a little awkward with them separated. The ...
Jul 8, 2014 -
Re: CHapter 5- The Fiery Angel and Blinding Lion
The last sentence of the first paragraph should go along with the second paragraph, [The girl then responded in her young, high sweet voice. “I’m Galgaliela, the ….] it just ...
Jul 8, 2014