ExOmelas

"'You and Valeo are looking close,' I said once Uncle was out of earshot. 'He hangs around more now that you're here." - comma not full stop before second speech ...

'Then something clicked into place that had been bugging me for days; the random things' - this should be a colon not a semi-colon. 'My mother; gutted like a fish, ...

'I think, dear reader that now would be a good time' - comma after reader. 'as I sat up on my bottom bunk "This sucks.' - There should be a ...

Okay, I have a problem here. I'm trying to help clear out the Green Room but Milanimo said pretty much everything I wanted to say. Um, here goes, anyway. '"NO! ...

'He made for the treadmill next to Silas’s' - I found out recently that when a person's name ends in s you don't have to put the extra s for ...

Hi there. Literally the only nit-picks are typos: "different from their motehrs" - I assume I don't have to explain the mistake here "shook his head as if it clear ...

Hey, Lost. I just want to let you know that I understood every word of that. It was so creepy! Slight nitpick: 'Susie nodded, “I’m ready.' - full stop instead ...

"The latch came off with a click and I emerged from my thoughts to step inside and put down my coat, shoes and bag. Before I had a chance to ...

"He rolled backwards and bow fell from his hand across the forest floor." - and the bow "at least three inches into his calf" - you've said calf a few ...

'"We can go after the herd again tomorrow.” she added.' - comma instead of full stop after 'tomorrow'. 'The woman and boy had a bow' - This was slightly ambiguous. ...

'Jason woke up to be in his own house, it was dark out, so he assumed that it was night. The familiar scent of old caramel candles filled the house, ...

Note: This review has been deleted

'“You are in Hell.” said a soft voice.' - That should be a comma after 'Hell', rather than a full stop. '“Stagnated from what.”' - That should be a question ...

'“Pst, hey,” Sam said suddenly, opening his eyes. “Are you awake?” Akia just stared at him. “Right. We need to talk.” Quietly, the two of them left the room and ...

Hi there. I'm not going to nitpick the whole thing but here are a few things where your sentence structure could use a little work: 'Annabelle said turning from the ...