ExOmelas

Hey, I'm here to review this work and hopefully brighten your outlook on the world. The Golden Gate Bridge didn't fall down today. The internet did self-destruct today. The people ...

Hi, I'm going to review the sentiment of this because I'm not a poet so there's no point discussing the technical side. You say mosh pits are not for everyone. ...

Hello there. I'm going to annoy you first with a few interesting facts about the Boer Wars. Firstly, 300,000 British troops struggled to defeat roughly 60,000 Boer farmers because they ...

Okay, I want to start by saying that I am listening to a really emotional song just now so that coupled with this means I've literally just had to wipe ...

'I landed neatly on my feet, silently grateful the saying applied to humans with the name as well.' - I love this line! :-) 'My name is Ororo Munroe, but ...

'continue on once I knew it was far away from me.' - Ahh no no tense switch. *swats* 'The dance class I that attend ever Tuesday and Thursday' - 'ever' ...

'as if something dead and rotting lie below them' - 'lie' should be 'lay'. 'pulling from his saddle and onto the ground' - there should be a 'him' between 'pulling' ...

'Each claimed it was the others fault.' - this should be 'other's'. 'What Simon saw was had short hair' - I think you've missed something out here. 'then he would ...

Hi, it's such a shame that both this and the other part of this chapter are still in the Green Room. After review day, I think I'll go back through ...

',” With a roll of her eyes, she sat down on the mat,' - both of these commas should be full stops. '2 pm' - my English teacher says you ...

'though its mattress stiff' - there should be a 'was' between 'mattress' and 'stiff'. 'Peter shortened his bow and his cheeks had the color of an abused bottom, “No, no.' ...

'I guess that makes sense, Emily thought, if she comes here every two months.' - I think the thoughts should be in italics or bold or a different colour or ...

'Suddenly his jaw was in agony' - you could do with a little more description here. Even a more specific verb than 'was' would probably do the trick. 'fresh horror ...

Before I write this, I understand it's supposed to be satirical but why would a mundane bite? Surely that would be a um, I don't know, vampire? You could say, ...

'Rouge?"' - Look at this carefully. You get this right and wrong at various points so I know you know how to spell it. 'just a tad to immature' - ...