-
Re: Love me, Michelle (Please critique!)
This is one of the few pieces of online writing that I've found myself to actually enjoy reading, rather than just reading to critique, so well done for keeping a ...
Sep 9, 2008 -
Re: Jane’s Animals
Jane’s Animals (Don't need an apostrophe, it should be Janes Animals) I think about writing a poem as I (A poem though within a poem... An interesting idea, but it ...
Sep 7, 2008 -
Re: For Flo;; Chapter One
I think from the moment I read the title, the idea of Flo captivated me. From what I've been reading so far, the idea seems very interesting, but make sure ...
Aug 9, 2008 -
Re: Parting
My main problem with this is that there is no punctuation whatsoever. Punctuation tells the reader when the sentence/subject is over and another can be in and when to make ...
Jul 29, 2008 -
Re: Chalk to the Sidewalk
Hi there! One of the first things I noticed about this poem, is the lack of punctuation to tell us exactly when to pause. There's a few commas in there, ...
Jul 27, 2008 -
Re: Sleepwalking butterflies
Hey, just one typo I noticed - "Golden scepters in their hands" it should be "Golden sceptres in their hands" Also the line - "the broken remnants of broken men." ...
Jul 27, 2008 -
Re: Paranoia, Ch.1 /P
I think I'm already excited to read the next part (which may already be up, I haven't checked). A few things I noted though were - Just a few more ...
Jul 23, 2008 -
Re: Too much Pain
In the meantime, while you're writing your reviews, I'll review this =D I'm in so much pain. And yet you seem to not notice. Make the first period a comma, ...
Jul 23, 2008 -
Re: Woozy
Wow, kind of has the beat of a dizzy merry go round =D Just a few things I noticed though - I remember when I was nine Everything seemed supa ...
Jul 20, 2008 -
Re: The Wind and The Raven
Wow! This poem certainly caught me with its imagery, it's a very beautiful poem :D My favourite part would definitely have to be "that fickle wind". Kind of reminds me ...
Jul 20, 2008 -
Re: Me
Lying in my bed, I'd take out the comma here, and either leave it or put in a dramatic pause. Caught in the world it portrays, Take out the comma ...
Jul 20, 2008 -
Re: Poem I wrote when I was 12...
Hi there! I really liked the idea that you tried to put behind your poem here, that it was about a young girl who dies and comes back for some ...
Jul 19, 2008 -
Re: The Chasm Choice
I really like the idea that you presented in this poem, a sort of 'I took the one less travelled by' is it not? I'll agree with the previous reviewer ...
Jul 19, 2008 -
Re: Born From the Mouth of the Sun
I feel like this poem had a meaning unbeknownst to me, yet it still managed to capture me. I liked how you used words in the last three lines that ...
Jul 19, 2008
