Enigmatic_Penguin

Thanks to the both of you! I'll try and get in a revised version up sometime this week. As usual, I have basketball, and plus it is the week before ...

Alright, I finally managed to get this edited. I think I did so well, but I'd like to know how I could make this longer. It seems... short to me.

Alright, thanks to the both of you! Looks like this chapter is in the final stretch of the editing race. :P

Alright, my second revisions has been posted and is more akin to the first draft. 8)

lol, looks I can only do one or the other well at the same time >.< I'll await your reread and see what the others say before I do something ...

Alright, I edited it! I hoep it works out well =P

Thanks to the both of you! I think I'll be able to edit this soon, if not by the end of the week. Kinda busy with... life. :P

I dunno if this allowed, but I am bumping up the thread, just to get some more views.

Please don't apologize for being harsh; I really enjoy the criticism. I'll put your time to good use, I assure you! I'll notify you when I post the edited version. ...

Okay everyone, I revised the chapter. I made it longer, put in more action that I hope reveals Bayard's personality to all of you, and put less monotonous details. Enjoy!

Hello Penguin! :D This is going to be a shortish critique because I'm tired. :P The thing that I noticed about this work was the slow pace. It took several ...