EnchantressMuffin

Well, for a first work, this was really good. It did seem a little long-winded without any stanzas or line breaks, so perhaps you could find a way to make ...

This is awesome. Very sweet, very well-rhymed, and very touching. Great job. Ordinairily I'd say that the lines are a little long, but since you double spaced it that takes ...

Hm... This was all right. A little bit dry, a little bit tell-not-show. I personally didn't find it the most engaging thing to read, but then my tastes are weird. ...

I like this very much. It's very powerful, and the simplicity of your words only adds to the effect. I especially liked the first and last stanzas-- very strong, gets ...

Hey! Not much to say, Jabber and Kitty pretty much said it all ready, but: Like Jabber said, you are improving. Yay for you! Your character development is moving nicely, ...

Okay, now I'm really posting. First off, I think that you should elaborate on the security that you mentioned. Just saying "overwhelming security" doesn't really bring to mind this great ...

This was described well, except for one thing. Who did he lose? The style of your writing suggests that we, the readers, should know who he has lost, but I ...

This is good, and moving very nicely. An intriguing read, I would say if I am a high-class literary review, which I am not. I have to make this quick, ...

I like the original version better. I like the questions, I like the stories, and I think that if you a) cut out the questions-answers lines, and b) cut out ...

Okay, first off, thanks SO much for PMing me when it was up! I enjoyed it, though there were a couple of things I noticed about the story: For the ...

Hi! I said I'd comment and here I am, commenting.... Well, this was a good story. Well written, if a bit matter-of-fact, and the story is intriguing. It does, however, ...

Hm... this was interesting. A little hard to understand at times. though. For instance, why does the man have blood on his clothes? Why is he chasing the woman? And ...

I liked this poem very much. It struck me as powerful, and emotional. I like poems like that, that grab me within just the first few lines. To the contrary, ...

This was a really good poem. I especially liked the "deepest dreams, darkest thoughts" line. Something about that was... electric. I think if you made this poem a smidge longer, ...

This was a nice poem... a little bit hard to understand at times, but making your reader think a little is a good thing, yes? :wink: One thing I didn't ...